Ugh, why did Brody have to say I fell in love with him? I’d been toying with the idea all night and as such hadn’t gotten any sleep. Useless fucking vampire. I couldn’t have loved him, could I? I didn’t even know the guy. But then again, there was something there. Like the echo of a memory. I mean, I could kind of remember him but I couldn’t remember ever meeting him before he saved my ass. Maybe... Maybe I could... No, don’t start thinking like that. He’s a vampire. He’s s’posed to be your enemy. But perhaps... Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to go to the bar one last time...
I noticed Brody the second he walked in, sitting at the other end of the bar to me. I pretended not to notice him, though, choosing instead to stare at the empty glass in front of me. He glanced at me a few times and I did my best to ignore him. Eventually he got bored of this and headed for me with a beer. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and he sat so there was a seat between us, sliding the beer over to me. I ignored it glancing at him again when he looked down at the bar.
"M'sorry about yesterday" he mumbled.
I nodded slightly, taking the beer he’d got me more out of sympathy than anything else.
"I don't know what you expect me to say" I said when he was quiet.
He shrugged. "I wasn't really expecting anything. I'm just here for peacemaking tonight"
"Because I didn't mean to piss you off last night"
I sort of shrugged.
"I wanna try and help you remember, but... I dunno" he frowned a little.
"What's there to remember?"
He was quiet for a moment. "Never mind" he said, getting up and starting to walk out.
I sighed. "Sorry, that came out wrong"
He kept going.
He didn’t. I set after him with a whine, catching up to him in no time. He wasn’t exactly walking fast. He glanced at me but carried on walking, his hands shoved in his pockets.
"I'm sorry" I said.
"S'okay. I'm just not sure that trying to make you remember is the right thing to do"
I glanced at him curiously.
He shrugged. "I was more trouble than I was worth - even I know that"
"If... If I did love you, I obviously didn't care about that"
"I know you didn't, but that doesn't stop me from wondering if not knowing me might just be better for you"
I sort of looked down, not brave enough to look him in the eye as I spoke. “I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still curious about you"
"Brendon did suggest a way to try and get your memories of me back, but... I dunno if I trust him or not. He's been acting different lately" he said, frowning a little.
"Maybe he should be less of an asshole"
"He's always been lonely"
He shrugged again. "If he hadn't managed to single handedly destroy the life I'd spent nearly a decade building for myself I might've been able to get on with him. But whatever, this is about whether you're willing to try out his suggestion, not about whether I'd get along with Brendon"
"What is it? This suggestion"
"He said to find a moment when you were most connected with me and try to mimic it... only I can't think of any" he said, a little embarrassed.
"Oh. That's helpful" I said, chuckling a little and he blushed.
"I can't help being an emotional retard" he mumbled.
"Well, I can't be of much help either, can I?" I laughed but he was too busy being embarrassed to answer. "What sort of stuff did we do? Other than sex, I mean"
He shrugged. "Watched movies and ate, mostly"
"You would let me feed on you... We didn't really do very much, to be honest. Once you'd been kicked out of your pack and Brendon was after us, we didn't really have much time for anything"
I tensed at that. He glanced at me.
"I let you what ?"
"You let me feed on you"
"No. Never in a million years. You must have me confused with someone else"
"I don't think I could have you confused with anyone else, Fate. Very first night I met you, I'd been too busy looking for someone to feed on to notice that you were a wolf when I was hitting on you. Once I realised, I asked if you'd heard anything dodgy going on around town. You came back to mine and told me, but I hadn't fed. So you let me feed on you"
I shook my head. I’d never let anyone feed on me.
"After that we had sex and in the morning you rubbed your scent into everything in my apartment" he wrinkled his nose a little.
"No. I wouldn't let anyone bite me, let alone feed on me"
A thoughtful look crept onto his face.
"No. Don't you fucking dare"
“I wasn't going to" he said defensively.
"Can't blame a guy for being too careful, though"
"I was just wondering... how long is it since you were turned?"
"Just tell me"
"Around six years"
His thoughtful expression turned into a thoughtful frown.
"I was trying to figure out how far back you'd forgotten... not very long, apparently"
I didn’t have to be told that my expression was one of confusion.
"Well last time I asked that you said six years, so..." he shrugged. “I was just curious"
"What does that have to do with anything, though?"
"I dunno. Like I said, I was just curious"
"Uh... Okay" I said, still confused.
"I guess I was wondering if maybe something had happened to change your mind about being fed on and if you'd somehow maybe remember that..." he shook his head. "I'm clutching at straws here"
"Change my mind? I've never liked it. I pretty much murdered the one vampire who managed it"
"So why does being bitten turn you on so bad...?" I heard him say quietly. I almost didn’t catch it, I guess he was talking to himself.
He looked at me. "Hmm?"
"What did you just say?"
"Being bitten was a real turn on for you"
A shudder rippled down my spine. "That's gross"
He shrugged and another tiny shudder rippled through me.
"I seriously think you have me mixed up with someone else, y'know"
He tried to hide the sad look that swept across his face but I saw it anyway.
"What for?" he asked, his face blank.
"I... I don't know. I'm trying to remember... There's something there, I just..."
He looked at me, his face still blank.
"I don't know, it's kinda fuzzy"
He looked at me kind of curiously, watching as I tried to remember. I let out a sigh after a while.
"Wanna come back to mine? Just for a coffee, I mean"
"Sure. Maybe I'll remember something” I said with a tiny smile.
He crouched down so I could climb on his back and I did, shutting my eyes as he ran at vampire speed.