Talking to Lazarus helped a little bit but as I made my way back upstairs, I could feel the worry start creeping back into me. What if he didn’t want anything to do with me? What if he didn’t feel anything but kept leading me on, just like Brendon. I think that’d hurt more, if I’m honest. Having to go through that again... Maybe it was my own fault for being so naive but I really did believe him when he said he loved me. And, I mean, Brody already knows I’d do anything for him so he wouldn’t even have to work hard to get me to believe it if he said it. God, Fate, why are you so stupid?
"Brody?" I asked, seeing Brody leaning on the window sill, a blank stare on his face.
"Mhm" he said, still staring.
I went over and hugged him, trying to stop the staring. I’m not gonna lie, it was kind of creepy. And not the good kind of creepy like him watching me eat. Sure, I complain about that but in a way it’s kind of nice. I’m weird, get over it. I planted a small kiss on his lips when he hugged back.
"I know it won't make much difference, but you can feed on me whenever you want"
"Thanks" he said with a small smile. "I'd rather not risk hurting you though"
"I'm stronger than you think, Brody" I chuckled.
"I know. I just..." he shrugged. "I'll manage"
"I know you will" I said, kissing his nose.
He flashed me a small smile and I mirrored it. We fell into silence, then. It wasn’t so much an awkward silence, it’s just neither of us knew what to say. I ghosted tiny kisses along his neck, kissing a little more when he tilted his head. Which was when I noticed he was holding his breath.
"Sorry" I said quietly, pulling back.
He wore a kind of sad expression and I pecked him on the lips.
"I lo-" I started but stopped myself before I made things any worse.
I looked down at my feet, glancing up when he ran his hand through my hair. He gave me a small kiss but didn’t say anything. I glanced up at him again, wondering what was going through his head.
"Sorry" he sighed.
He cuddled me, still holding his breath.
"I can get out of your way, if you want"
"You're not in my way. Leaving me to my own devices will probably just make it worse anyway"
I sighed a little, cuddling him.
"Anything you wanna do?"
"Apart from go and wait it out on some remote island where there're no humans?" he said with a slight chuckle and I smiled a little.
"Yeah, apart from that"
He shrugged. "So long as I don't end up hurting you, I don't mind what we do"
"I don't mind either" I chuckled and he tutted.
"Well, I'll leave you to decide, 'cause I'll end up picking somewhere I can sneak off and pick off a few more unfortunate humans"
My face fell a little at that. "We could watch a movie or something? Or just go hang somewhere"
"Don't mind" he shrugged and I kissed his neck.
"Anything you want to watch in particular?"
"I don't even know what's on" he said, kissing the top of my head.
"We can always rent something"
"If you want me to"
"It's up to you" I smiled and he gave me a baby of a kiss.
"I'll stay here"
I nodded and went on my way, wondering what to get. He’d like action movies, right?