A Killer Is Bored

Authors Note: This is what goes on in my villain's mind when he's bored.


I am bored of this game, bored of waiting for my victims to wake up.

I'm bored of using the same old sedative to subdue them. Why not add a little kick of something else next time? Hmm...that sounds intriguing. Then we'll see what happens.

I'm bored of having my way with their uconscious bodies. If I wanted to screw or take advantage of something that doesn't move, let alone respond to my touches, kisses, caresses, and licks, I would be a necrophiliac. Thank god I'm not. Those people are sick.

I'm bored of explaining every goddamn thing to James. He should know the way a kidnapping, rape and murder works by now. Why is it always such a shock to him what I do? He's not me, although I bet he secretly wishes he was me.

I'm bored of trying to whip my colleagues into shape at the studio. If they want to be a tough guy, they gotta start thinking like me. They've gotta know what I want and how I want it, and if they really intend on making it in this competitive business, they've gotta grab the audience by the throat and make them sit up, shut up and take notice.

I'm bored of everything.

I'm bored of this double life.

I'm bored of operating on old horny housewives who want facelifts or nose jobs, lipo or tummy tucks. Sure it might make me some extra money on the side, but it's not as fulfilling as my night job...as one of the most notorious, dangerous and "Most Wanted" criminals in the greater Los Angeles area.

I'm bored of the same old scotch that sits in my cabinet.

I'm bored with the decor. Perhaps I should hire an interior decorator to really make the place come to life, black, red and white all around, perhaps some dark age pieces that will truly show my guests what a huge force I am to be reckoned with...just in case they didn't know.

I'm bored with letting that stupid kid put his hands all over my girl. I don't know what the hell she sees in him. I'm twice his size and I know how to get her off better than he does, even though she might not openly admit it. She knows I'm right.

I'm bored with ordering out Chinese food all the time, but it's the only thing I can eat in this city.

I'm bored with the weapons in my study. Perhaps I should buy a crossbow. I'm sure someone on Ebay must have one. It might cost me a pretty penny, but it would defintiely produce some heavy and deadly artillary. What else? Swords sound like fun. I've never been fencing...or truly harnessed their power before. I bet James is an expert at it. Yes, a game of fencing would certainly be worth the fun.

Christ, I'm still bored with this girl. Perhaps I should slip into the bathroom and grab the smelling salt, or I could simply go back to snapping more pictures of her naked body to blackmail her later.

I'm bored with company parties. The same starlets always show, and the ones that don't, are too prim and proper to attend. They really need to be taught a lesson...the Victor Bane way. If I could only get them into my torture chamber, they'd think twice before rejecting me again.

I'm bored, and it's time I fix it before I slam my fist into the wall. Now what drawer did I put the smelling salts? Time to rise and shine, my pretty.

The End

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