The words ‘the hospital’ were enough to wake her up. She shook her head furiously, beating at his chest weakly... no, she wasn’t about to give up; she would not ‘deal with it.’ “Damn it let me go!” She growled, beating on his chest with as much strength as she could muster. Although trying to gather her strength like that just proved to make her weaker. She had no weapons either; just her bare fists. She thought, then realised even if she did have a gun she wouldn’t be able to lift it anyway.
He looked down at her as she attempted to hit him hard enough to make him let go and shook his head. "Please." She whimpered, finding it to be her last resort. “You see, something got to me when I was younger; I would die fighting or not die at all. I would rather die on my own, from a wound I got from defiance than be healed in a hospital. It just wasn’t my way.”
“No.” He stated calmly, Lilly looked up at him; her eyes questioning his answer. “Why?” She whispered.
"I think the box has claimed enough lives, directly or indirectly. Why should I let it have another?" He answer was once again calm and Lilly began to fume; the rage building up in her. To her, that was no excuse for him to be saving her like this, but as she gazed up at him her body became warmer, losing its deathly-cold chill.
"Why won't you just let me die? I already thought you would. But no, you came back. Was the box the only reason you want me to live? If so, God damn it. Drop me!" She looked at the hospital that was gaining on them. The garish white light it emitted, the sound of sirens and cries could be heard and seen all the way from where they were stood.
Taking a deep breath, Jamie glanced at her again, his eyes hard. "Fine," he spat the word out and tipped her out of his arms, letting her fall to the ground. "Happy?"
"Yes." She growled, ripping the make-shift bandages from her head. "Now let this murderer die in peace." She had caught some of the conversation from where she was laid.
"Sure." He turned away and walked back in the direction he had just come. "Why do I bother?!" he shouted at nothing in particular.
“Because you’re a fool,” she answered, trying to raise her voice as loud as she could so she could reply. It was true to her, she had done nothing for anyone but take from them. But as she saw him walk away something in her twitched, making her feel sick. Some knot in her stomach that made her want to scream for him to come back. But nigh, she did not; she just sat and looked forlorn waiting to see if he would come back. He didn’t and instead in his previous shout growled; “clearly!” But he did not turn to face her. She laughed softly and attempted to push herself up.
He did not stop and her chest began to ache. She knew what it was; although she didn’t want to admit it. She eventually pushed herself up and began hobbling after him. “Jamie, wait!” She called but he did not stop, nor did he even slow down. "Oh this isn't fair..." she mumbled, as her stomach pulled her closer to him; but he only seemed to get further away. She found it ironic, something she loved being pulled away from her quicker than she could reach it.
She didn’t see how she loved him so. Perhaps it was because he had been the only one to care for her in so long, the only one to forgive her and help her.
He stopped dead. Then turned slowly and angrily to face her. "This isn't fair?” He spat, slowly. “Nothing is fair! I tried to help you, and you told me to drop you, so I did and now you're complaining it's not fair?" His voice rose dangerously and by the time he was done, he was almost shouting.
She whimpered as she saw the anger in his eyes. But he had every right to be. "No because I can't let you go." She whispered, almost ashamed with herself as she gazed at the floor. "This is stupid." She thought, but she hadn’t been thinking as she said the words. They just tumbled from her lips. She had nothing, now she had found something to cling to she couldn’t let go.
Swearing loudly, Jamie turned and punched the wall of the house he was stood next to. He growled wordlessly as the skin on his knuckles split, but the pain seemed to calm him a little. "Sure you can let me go, Lilly. Sure you can, because you don't even freaking know me, and I don't know you. Oh, and if it makes it any easier, I really don't like you. I'm pretty sure it's hate, but I was always taught that hate was too strong a word to use so soon."
The words tore at her, slicing into her like knives as they left his lips. The cold, sick feeling returned to her and she gazed at him, lost. She didn’t know what to do. The feeling was too strong she wanted to fall and cry. She wanted to kill him, she wanted to find a dark abyss and drown herself in it. “Why?” She whispered through her pained thoughts. “WHY!?” She echoed in her mind, turning the word over and over until she too could find an answer. She might as well be dead. She had nothing to live for, no future, no present and the past would just haunt her.
"Why?" Jamie repeated incredulously, "why?" He laughed mirthlessly. "Why do you think?"
"Then why did you let me go through all this pain? Why didn't you shoot me when you had the chance? Twice! Twice I gave you a chance and now what? Why give me something then tear it away?" They were but a few questions that taunted her mind, laughing at her.
"I didn't shoot you because I'm not like you, or anyone else in this goddamn city. I'm not a killer, and I'm not a spectator. I tried to help you, but you threw it back in my face and I can't be bothered anymore."
"Because I can't go to hospital, you know Zelos! He owns everything here. If he were to find me in hospital he would send his goons to take me away again!" She didn’t think about the words but they were the truth. She had numerous reasons for not liking that place and right now that was at the top.
"That's your problem. I'm not taking you there now, so there's no point arguing," he sighed and pushed a hand back through his hair in a frustrated motion. "I'm going to go home. I need to sleep. I'll see you around." He began to walk off again.
She looked after him through blurred eyes, her cheeks becoming soaked in a mix of tears and rain. "If I had never been kidnapped, if I was still by your side, watching you sleep, would you still treat me like this? I didn't leave you by choice." It was her last question she wanted answering.
"I'm not in the mood for your crap, Lilly, just leave me alone."
"Just give me an answer! A final answer, that's all." She pleaded, her voice almost becoming lost in the rain as he continued walking.
Twisting around to look at her once more, he nodded and then kept walking. That was it; the final dagger in her heart. She collapsed again, she wasn’t sure if it was what he had said or the fact she was still bleeding. But she didn’t care. She welcomed oblivion.