“How soon are we wanting to leave?” Megan asked,
I loved how she used the pronoun ‘we’ but I couldn’t uproot her again.
“What do you mean we? You don’t have to come Megan!” I said pulling my head out of her lap and looking at her.
“I know but I want to,” Megan said lovingly, “You are my girlfriend and I need to make sure that you are okay and that you are not alone.”
“That’s incredibly sweet of you but…”
“There isn’t a but Anna, I love you and want to be there for you always,” she said pulling me close and kissing me on the forehead. I felt warm and happy that Megan was determined to stay by my side but I knew that in doing so she would be uprooting herself from her settled life again and it wouldn’t be fair to make her do that again.
“Megan, I appreciated your loyalty and all….”
“BUT Megan, I can’t ask you to uproot your life for me again. You are settled here, you have made new friends here and you love it here. You love working here and I can’t take that away from you. I don’t want to sound harsh but this isn’t your problem really and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.”
“I know it’s not my problem but you are my girlfriend….” She said staring imploringly at me, “What are you suggesting Anna?”
“I need to go back home to be with my mum but that doesn’t mean you have to as well. I want you to be happy and I know you won’t be if you come back to England with me. Plus I know that if you came back, they wouldn’t keep your job open here for when you return and you have done really well for yourself whilst we have been here!” I explained. “This is the hardest decision I have ever made Megan but is also the right one. I know in my heart that you won’t be happy in England and I know that I won’t be happy until I am back in England with my mum, so the solution is that we go our separate ways.”
“No…..No…. Anna, don’t even suggest it. I love you!”
“And I love you, I always will Megan,” I said pulling into a soft kiss, “I love you so much which is why I couldn’t make you unhappy!”
“We can still be together though Anna? I mean lots of people do long distance?” Megan asked hopefully, “I can’t lose you!”
“And you never will Megan, I will always be here for you but I don’t know if I will come back to America, I don’t know whether I could knowing that I would be miles away from my dad and if anything happened to him and I was away again …… I don’t think I could put myself through it again.”
“I can come to you….”
“You won’t have the time Megan… you have to focus on your career and I know it sounds as though I am being tough but I’m actually just being realistic…” I said tears rolling down my face.
Both of us were crying now, both realising the same thing.
“What we have is so special Anna,” Megan sobbed, holding my face in her hands
“I know and I will always cherish it. I will stay in touch with you but in my head and my heart I know it would be selfish for me to say that we should stay together even though we will be on the other side of the Atlantic. I could meet someone…. You could meet someone…. And I would hate for one of us to break the others heart.”
Megan nodded, her eyes sparkling, overflowing with tears which splashed down her cheeks at regular intervals.
“I’m sorry Megan, I really am!”
“I know, it’s not your fault…. I understand your reasons!”
“Thank you!” I said giving Megan a meaningful kiss which she reciprocated with passion. A passion that reminded me why I loved her so much!
“I’ll miss you!” I whispered holding her close.