I fucked up. I am truly sorry, I just wanted to help you and Sam makes you so happy and I just wanted you to be happy again and not so hard on yourself. Its hard being thousands of miles away and knowing that your best friend is hurting, it wasn't like I could just give you a hug and everything would be better. I saw how upset you were and I just wanted to cheer you up.
I know I should have listened to you when you said no and I completely understand why your angry at me but I didn't mean anything bad by it, i honestly just wanted to help. Please return my calls and messages, I hate it when we fall out, you are my best friend and I am lost without you.
I read through the email and sighed, it was short, honest and to the point and it was also my last hope. Cara had refused to answer my Skype calls or my texts and so had any of the others. Ali had picked up her phone once when I had tried ringing her mobile with my number withheld but as soon as I spoke and she realised who it was she hung up on me. Cara constantly checks her emails for job offers and other subscriptions she has so I knew that she would receive the email but whether she would read it would be the deal breaker. Would she read it but not reply? Would she just delete it ? or would she actually reply? Even if she replied and the email was unpleasant at least I would know that she read it and took in what I had to say.
I sent the email to both her private email and her university email in the hope that maybe sending it to both her inboxes may increase the chances of her reading it. I sighed. Cara hadn't spoken to me in days and it hurt to know that I had upset my best friend especially when it was unintended.
"Hey Anna, do you want a cup of tea?" Megan asked, poking her head round the bedroom door,
"I still have the one you made me before," I said distantly, staring at my computer. I had started up Skype to see if Cara was online but she was either offline or just appearing offline.
"Anna, you haven't touched it and its stone cold, do you want me to make you another?"
"If you want," I said
"Do you want some food?"
"Anna look," Megan said coming over and sitting on the bed next to me, "You cant let this business with Cara get to you."
I scoffed, "Oh yeah? She's my best friend how can I not?"
"She'll come round. She knows deep down you didn't do it to be mean. I am not condoning what you did, you really shouldn't get involved with love lives as they are complicated things but I know and she knows that your heart was in the right place!" Megan said kissing the top of my head affectionately. "Chin up beautiful. I'll make you a fresh cuppa."
I didn't look up as Megan left the room but instead continued to refresh my emails in the hope of a reply. It was no use trying to ring her as she wouldn't pick up so i figured that with an email she could reply in her own time.
I refreshed my emails again and had to look twice to believe what i was seeing, it was a reply.
The reply was short, in fact it had only four words.
Do not contact me.
"Fuck!" I shouted, before burying my head in my pillow.
"What? Are you okay Anna?" Megan was back. She set the freshly made cup of tea down on cabinet and pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into her shoulder, "I've fucked everything up Megan. I have screwed up so bad!
"Did Cara reply to your email?" Megan asked,
I gestured helplessly at the reply which was still open on my laptop.