I slumped back in bed and groaned. Not only had I cried, which I hadn't done in a while, I'd unleashed Anna and her fierce determination on to Sam. I hoped she'd listen to me and just leave well enough alone. I didn't want her doing anything.
UGH. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. But then again, I felt a strange sensation of relief break through me, as though this cry was the last, and the one that made me feel like fighting. I rubbed my eyes and frowned. Yes, that was definitely how I felt. I shook my head and headed downstairs.
"Hey... you alright?" Liam frowned.
"Yeah." I shrugged. "Just trying to keep Anna from trying to sort out the Sam situation."
"Er... yeah good luck with that." He snorted and I laughed.
"She won't, I'm sure. She knows I'd reach through my webcam and strangle her if she did."
"Thanks." I smirked. "So, I have a favour to ask."
"Will you come with me to my check up tomorrow?"
"Sure. You're not worried?"
"No... I just would rather someone was there."
"I'm so there. In the meantime, we have a gig at the weekend. I just finished organising it."
"Yeah. Saturday. I checked your schedule to make sure you weren't working."
"Where is it?" I sat down at the table and Liam handed me a mug of hot chocolate. "Thanks."
"It's at Rush."
"Okay... cool. What're we playing?"
"I figure we do the same set that we did at Tokyo the other week. Maybe swap a few songs?"
"Yeah. We're on quite early. They want us to start at seven, so we have to be set up. They want us to play the more chilled songs until dinner is over and then when they make it in to cocktail hour we get more of a show. They'll put songs on during breaks obviously and then after we've finished."
"Sounds good. Maybe we should stay afterwards. I could use a night out."
"Me too. Right, that's settled then.
"Yes Captain." I pretended to salute him, and then giggled as he showed me the finger.
The check up went well; there were no signs that everything hadn't gone exactly as planned. Liam was in the mood to be celebratory, so we headed out to get some food. In a pub, we ordered burgers and chips and sat in silence for a little while.
"Do you reckon, if...." Liam paused and played with the edge of a paper napkin.
"What?" I'd never really seen him so nervous before, and it had me curious.
"Do you reckon if Sam doesn't want to have a relationship, that you'll ever move on?"
"Why, you asking me out?" I teased, wanting to avoid the question.
"Gross." He replied, flicking a piece of the napkin at me. "You're like my sister."
I sighed and looked down at my drink for a minute, thinking.
"There's the mature part of me that understands that people leave, and that sometimes people find other 'ones'. But then most of me is screaming that no one could ever replace her, or even come close to having what we had."
"So why not go for it. Some small sign to her, or some big romantic gesture...?"
"Because I'm the one that ruined everything, so this has to be on her terms."
"Maybe she wants you to fight for her?"
I stared at him.
"You think?" The waitress arrived with our food and we dug in. Liam let me think things over. "I guess maybe... I just don't want to hurt her ever again. And I feel like if I go for it, she might let me and regret it, or just freak and push me away. It's a delicate situation, and I want her back so bad but... I can't push her."
"So don't. Just leave none pushy flowers on her doorstep or something."
"Liam." I rolled my eyes. "You're not helping."
"Fine. But do something. It's killing me seeing you two apart. Besides I miss Sam."
"So it's all about you?"
"Yup. Always is." He grinned.
"Great." I rolled my eyes again but couldn't help the grin that played out on my lips.
"So just... text her or something, I don't know. I'm not the expert but seriously. You two need help."
"We do not need... oh forget it."
Liam went to the toilet and I played with my phone. Would it be so bad if I texted her? Just one little text, to ask how Mikey enjoyed his birthday?
I hope Mikey enjoyed his birthday, and his brownies.
My thumb hovered over the send button as I re-read everything. It wasn't expectant, and it seemed pretty casual, right? I hit send, and almost immediately began worrying. What if it ruined her day? What if she just ignored me? What if...?
"You look like you just got slapped round the face." Liam frowned as he returned to his seat.
"I texted her."
"Woah, wow. And it only took me going to the toilet?" I nodded. "What did you say?"
"Just asked about Mikey. It was his birthday yesterday."
"Shut up. I'm panicking, and I'm going to be panicking until she texts back. This is your fault."
"You'll thank me when she replies."
"And what if she doesn't?"
"I'll call the ambulance if you have a heart attack."
I threw a left over chip at him and groaned.
"What am I going to do?"
"Woman up, and come to band rehearsal. We have to prepare for this weekend."
Sighing, I nodded, and followed him out of the pub.
We were preparing to practice our new original song, 'Broken Heart' when my phone buzzed. I grabbed it immediately, almost dropping the mike. SAM. I almost had a mini heart attack right there. Opening it quickly I saw that there was no text, just a picture message. But the importance of that picture...
Sam, her arms wrapped around little Mikey's waist as he sat on her lap. Huge grins on both of their faces, each with a giant brownie slice in their mouths. Mikey's eyes squeezed shut with joy, and Sam quite obviously trying not to laugh. Everything about it made my heart feel like it was bursting out of my chest with love.
"Well, I can guess who that is." Liam grinned. I smiled gently but ignored him as I tapped out a response.
Oh, that's precious.
I hoped she'd detect my amusement, but you never know with texting. But it didn't matter at the moment. All that mattered was that she'd replied. It wasn't words, but then a picture is worth a thousand.