Cara: Goodbye Anna and MeganMature

We watched Anna and Megan go through the gate and down the corridor out of sight. Then Megan's parents said goodbye to us and we all headed to the van. 

"What's the plan for the rest of today then?" 

"I vote we make use of this beautiful sunshine and drink in the garden."

"Great." I replied sarcastically. 

"Or... we could spend the day enjoying ourselves doing whatever and drink at a more appropriate time with a barbecue this evening." Liam suggested. 

"Better." I replied. 

"Doughnuts." Ali said, and grinned. Jak sighed and changed lanes. 

"Guess we'll go food shopping now then." He said and chuckled. 

We bought lots of snack food and barbecue food, as well as all the essentials we had run out of, and headed back to the house. 

"Want to do some reading?" I asked Ali when we'd unpacked the food and she'd got her doughnuts  firmly clutched in her hand. 

"Sure. We've got plenty to do before next week."

"Uni's back next week? Damn, where'd the time go?" Jak complained. 

"Well, now we can prepare in the warm sunshine." I grinned. "Meet you out there Ali?"

"Yeah." She smiled and we went to find our books. I picked Affinity off the bedside table and frowned when an envelope fell down the side of my bed. I scrambled around and found it, only realising what it was when I saw the writing. I sat on my bed and opened it, knowing Anna had probably gotten soppy and I would rather not cry in front of the others. Taking a deep breath, I began to read. 

Dear Cara,

Where to begin, You mean the world to me, you have been my best friend forever and we have been through thick and thin and I don’t think we will ever be apart from each other as long as we will be now. If I recall correctly the longest time we have been apart before this was when we fell out because we couldn’t agree on who was best suited to Bradley, the new boy in our year when we were in year eight. We argued and fell out because we both fancied him and didn’t talk to each other for about a week and it wasn’t until our friend at the time, Sarah, banged our heads together and told us that we were being pathetic that we made up. Remember? On a side note, turns out that Bradley was as camp as a row of tents and had a boyfriend anyway.

Even though Megan is coming with me, I want you to know that I will miss you very much, you’re my best friend and I love you.

I love you as a best friend though, nothing more, nothing less, and I apologise for all the heartache and drama I have caused you this past year. I now realise how selfish I was being by making you choose between me and Sam, it was cruel and unfair and know that if the shoe had been on the other foot, you would never have made me choose between you or Megan.

Part of the reason that I have decided to take this trip away is not for academic reasons at all, but for a purely selfish reason which I hope you understand. Our friendship has slowly been repairing from the last year of constant drama, yet it can never repair fully, as there is always something that is bound to happen. This year away will give us both some distance, to relocate that connection that drew us together as best friends in the first place. I feel as though it will help us heal.

Moreover I feel that it will help me grow as an individual, become more independent and help me to become a better person. At the moment, I am too dependant on other people to help me though difficult times. Too reliant on you to be at my beck and call and I realise that you can’t be as you have a life too.

Over the past year, Sam has helped you to grow as a person, to become a better more independent person. I haven’t had that yet; I have gone from one disaster to another without stepping back and trying to work out what I was doing wrong, without working out how I could prevent the same thing happening again. With Megan, I feel that I have found my Sam; she is helping me, helping me to grow and become a better person, which is why I feel the need for her to come with me. If nothing else, she is my piece of home, my reminder that there are people back home that care for me and love me even though I am miles away from home.

I need to go away so I can come back so to speak and I hope you can understand that. You’re my best friend and I love you because of that.

Sam better cherish you and love you the way I never could.

Be happy.

Anna. Xx

A tear slipped out of my eyes and hit the paper. 

Sam better cherish you and love you the way I never could.

I lay down and stared at the letter, wishing that were still true. I was glad that Anna had done this for so many reasons; that she was getting to know herself. And she couldn't have known that Sam and I would be over when I read this letter. She'd probably forgotten all about it. Even though I knew all this, it hurt. But I had written the letter and there wasn't much more I could do. 

I wiped the tears away after about ten minutes and grabbed my books, leaving the letter on my bed. I  had to get my reading done, and I wasn't going to be held back by my stupid mistakes any more. Uni began next week and I was working for  the next four days, so it was now or never. 

It didn't stop me thinking about Sam, or the letter, while Ali and I read on the blanket and snacked. It didn't stop me wondering how Anna was enjoying the flight, or whether Sam had read my letter yet during the barbecue. It didn't stop my tears that night when I remembered again why I'd lost her. 

The End

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