Days in the hospital were starting to blur. Was it two or three days since Anna and Liam had gotten the truth out of her? Was it two or three days she’d lain there feeling like an idiot?
“You’re going to be able to go home tomorrow Cara.” Craig, one of my nurses, said while looking at my chart.
“Hey, at least you won’t have to eat hospital food anymore.” He smiled. “Whatever is waiting for you out there.”
“A whole lot of ‘I’ve been an idiot’.”
“Whatever it is you’ve been an idiot about, the best part of the human race is that we tend to give second chances.” He smiled gently and left the room.
“He’s right you know.”
“Hi mum.” My mother had been let out a day ago, but that didn’t stop her coming back to haunt me.
“Has Sam visited?”
“No mum, she hasn’t. She’s busy hating me for being an idiot.”
“I’m sure she’s not. Sam isn’t like that.”
“Well you wouldn’t know that would you? Because you didn’t really bother to get to know her that well.”
“Cara that’s not fair.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just… I know I screwed it up and I feel like… I feel like it’s all a huge pile of-“
“Cara don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say.”
“Mum come on I’m an adult now-“
“Legally an adult.”
“And yet you’re acting like a child.”
“Mum you’re not helping me. Can you just go?”
“This driving people away thing does not work Cara. Trust me. I’ve done it.”
“But this isn’t your life. It’s mine. And you’re just trying to make me feel like I’ve made a mistake. Well guess what mum? I know that. I know I’ve royally screwed up. I can’t help it. But as soon as I’m out of here I’m going to go speak to her, face to face. I’m going to get her back.”
“Well, I’m pleased to hear it.” She replied, smiling for the first time that visit.
“Bye Craig, thanks for looking out for me.” I smiled at him.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I don’t see you in here again soon.”
“I take that as a good thing.” I smiled. “I hope so too.”
“Take care love.” He grinned checking his pager. “Gotta go. See you around.”
“Bye.” I called after him before heading out the front doors. My mum had returned home after her visit yesterday, reassured that I was getting out today. She had to go back to work, or else I think she’d have stuck around to see me try to work it out with Sam.
Jak had come to pick me up in the van he’d bought to help with band transportation. I was looking forward to getting back to that, after everything.
“Hey Cara, jump in, we have to be quick.” He called from the driver’s seat.
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Ali spent the morning throwing up, but now she’s craving doughnuts.” He moved the bag of doughnuts from my seat before I sat on it. “I have to get them back to her before she starts eating paper again.”
“Yeah, weird cravings.”
“My mum craved chalk.”
“Ew. Okay well I’m glad we’ve not got that kind of crap. No wonder you’re weird.”
“Haha.” I said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “You are hilarious.”
“I know right? Fingers crossed the baby gets my sense of humour.”
“Oh god, two of you? No, not sure I could cope with that.”
“And that’s exactly what would make it so fun.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well that’s a shame. Hey, fingers crossed Amanda isn’t there when we get back.”
“Is she really that bad?”
“She ate the last of the last doughnuts I bought. If she’s going to steal the craving snack of a pregnant woman there has to be something wrong with her.”
“Or maybe she didn’t know?”
“Oh, she knew.” He grumbled.
“You’re only annoyed because it meant you had to go fetch more.”
“You’re darn right.” He grinned. Then he slammed his hand on the horn at a car that was just sitting in the lane in front of us. The lights had turned green. Slowly the car moved and Jak glared after it before exiting the lane as well. “Stupid drivers.”
“You’re a driver.”
“And I retain the right to hate every other driver on the road.”
I held up my hands in surrender.
“Okay, okay. Every other driver. Got it.”
He grinned and slipped some music on as we trailed through the city. It was really a bad time to be driving.
“So… you spoken to Sam?”
“No, but I’m going to. I think my brain was having seizures or something. I severely fucked up.”
“Tell me about it.”
“It just… I don’t know it got too real.”
“Too real?” His eyebrows raised questioningly in my direction.
“It wasn’t just the illness… I don’t know. I just had time to think about it in the hospital.”
“And this is where you realised you’d taken a giant blow to the head sometime in the last couple of months?”
“Yes Jak.” I rolled my eyes. “That is where I realised.”
“Well at least you’ve come to your senses.” He said as we pulled up at their house.
“Am I too late though?” I murmured quietly as he jumped out of the van and grabbed the doughnut bag. I watched him running up the path and through the door and it brought a small smile to my face.
If those two could get passed something as abrupt and changing as pregnancy, surely there was hope for Sam and I?