I woke up the next morning and groaned. My clock said it was six in the morning; I had two more hours on the machine to go but I needed the toilet. Thank god that was allowed. I unhooked myself and went, keeping quiet so I didn’t wake up Sam. She’d only ask what was wrong and I was too irritated by my early awakening to answer.
I crept back in to bed once I’d hooked myself back up to my machine, and lay there, listening to the noise it made. Sam stirred next to me, rolling towards my side with her hand sliding across my chest. She smiled in her sleep as her hand rested below my breast and I reached over hesitantly, trailing my finger gently over the back of her hand. Sam would probably get her letter today. She couldn’t help me…
I didn’t want to get the phone calls from everyone, telling me what was in their letters. I knew already.
“Morning.” Sam smiled, kissing my shoulder.
“Morning.” I replied, throwing my legs out of the bed and sitting up to unhook myself from the machine.
“Do you want breakfast? A cup of tea?” Sam asked, crawling over and putting her hands gently on my shoulders.
“No. Thanks.” I shrugged my shoulders to get her to stop rubbing them. I felt her pause and then move. She appeared next to me.
“Cara I know this is hard on you…”
“Oh do you?” I looked at her. “I had no idea you knew how I felt.”
“Cara that’s not fair.”
“No you know what’s not fair? I’m stuck with this machine; I keep throwing up, going to the toilet…”
“Cara we should know about the kidneys today… maybe we can get this done soon?”
“No, we can’t.”
“You’re not still saying that if I’m compatible-“
She stared at me.
“Dr.Shappiro called me last night. You’re not a match.”
“Oh.” Her face fell. “Cara I’m so sorry…”
“Because I wanted to help you, that’s why.”
“Well you can’t.” I stood up and walked out of the room.
I picked up the post and sorted through them as I went in to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My student finance letter had come through. I’d sort that out today. That is, if there was a point. I mean… would I be in classes?
I threw the unwanted mail in the paper bin, and poured the glass of water, leaning against the side and opening the student finance letter to read through.
“Cara?” I looked up to find Sam standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Please… could you try to… I know it’s bad but I feel like you’re taking it out on me. And I’m struggling to… cope.”
I sighed and put my water down.
“I’m sorry. It’s just so hard.”
“I know baby… I’m just sorry I can’t help you.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She came over to me and paused.
“Since when do you need to ask?”
“I don’t know.” She replied. She stroked my hair around my ear and kissed my forehead gently, then drew me in to a hug. I rested my chin on her shoulder and sighed.
“I am sorry.”
My phone started ringing.
“It’s okay, get it. I have to get ready.” She kissed my nose, winked and went to make tea.
“Maybe I will have one?” I tried.
“Good.” She smiled, properly for the first time I think in a while… “Go get your phone.”
I smiled and went to get the phone.
“Hey Cara, its me.”
“Hi me,” I said, “What’s up?”
“I have just gotten my letter in the post Cara.”
“I’m not a match.”
“I’m sorry. Megan isn’t either.”
“Honestly? It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hey, I’m just in the same position as I was two minutes ago.”
“Yeah I guess. Why don’t we come over tonight?”
“Yeah? Actually, might be an idea. Could you ask the others to come over? I think… you know… it’d be nice?”
“You sure you’re up for it?”
“Of course. I’ll be fine. As long as I’m in bed... we could have dinner.”
“What sort of dinner? You’re not going to cook…”
“Who says I won’t cook?”
“Cook for who?” Sam asked, appearing with my cup of tea.
“I wanted to invite people over tonight… can I?”
“Of course, if you’re up for it. It’d be nice to see people. But you’re not cooking for them, if it’s everyone.”
“Siding with Anna… shocking.” I smirked. She stuck her tongue out.
“Hey, still here! Stop flirting.” Anna said.
“Sorry. You all come over. I’ll sort food.”
“I’ll cook Anna, don’t worry!” Sam called.
“Thank god.” Anna replied chuckling.
“Alright, pack it in.” I replied. “Can you invite them Anna?”
“Sure. I’ll see you later.”
I hung up.
“Are you really cooking for everyone?”
“Sure. I don’t mind. It’s about time we had some cheer in this flat again. I’ll come and cook after work.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Besides, you have reading to do.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Alright. I don’t want to come back and find you’ve been cooking. I’ll do something special.”
“Alright alright.” I held up my hands.
“Okay. I need a shower. Fancy joining me?” She asked, putting her hands on my hips and grinning.
“I… I’m not really feeling it Sam. I’m sorry.”
“Hey it’s okay.” She removed her hands from my hips and kissed my head, then went to get a shower.