Anna had been short with me and for a moment I disliked her for it. I disliked everyone as I slammed the door from the stairs that led up to her flat, and began to make my way to Levi's. As much as I wanted to keep everything a secret until after... Oh I didn't even know any more. Was it until after Sam's party or was it until after Anna had gone, so she couldn't use me as an excuse to not go? I didn't know any more. I didn't know if I could cope. It hurt me that my best friend had not noticed the change in me, but she was so wrapped up in her own problems. Sam asked me what was wrong constantly now, and it annoyed me because my acting around her was not as strong as it was around Anna. I stopped and leaned against a wall for support, dragging in deep breaths. I was so tired...
"That didn't take long." Sam smiled as I found her at a table.
"She didn't have much to say after I agreed with Megan not her."
"Ah." Sam replied. "So, what happened now?"
"I don't really want to talk about it Sam, I'm tired."
"I'm not surprised. Do you want a drink, or do you want to go home?"
"A drink, please. Then home."
"What would you like?"
"Just a lemonade."
She nodded and went to the bar. I put my legs up and hugged them, sighing. What was wrong with me? Well I knew the answer to that. But why was I the one to deal with this? Why didn't someone else have this? When I was happy, and blessed... but then that was probably it. Not everything could be perfect, could it?
"Here you go." Sam said, passing me a glass and sitting down next to me.
"Thanks." I took a sip and was grateful that it was cool. I suddenly felt very warm and ill.
"Are you alright? You look pale..."
"It's the lighting." I took another sip and tried to smile at her. "Are you ready to go back to work tomorrow?"
"Yes. It's been lovely today, spending time with you and relaxing, but I know I need to get a move on back here. There's the Christmas show to think about."
"You'll do well, you always put on a good show. I thought last years was incredible."
"And you didn't even see the actual party."
"Yes, why wasn't I invited again?" I mused.
"Because you were dealing with life..." She smiled and kissed me. "But this year, you will be the most beautiful woman there."
"Such an old romantic." I teased.
"Less of the old thank you." She grinned.
"You up to go shopping still? Remember we have to go?" I said, looking round to check Sam wasn't in hearing distance. She had left for work, but knowing my luck, she'd come back and hear the whole plan.
"Shall I call Megan or are you two still not talking?"
"Megan's here. But we'll meet you in town. Say in half an hour?"
"Yeah, at Cafe Nero?"
"Ok. You alright?"
"Fine, see you then." She hung up and I rolled my eyes. For gods sake. She's either hanging on my apron strings or giving me the cold shoulder. There's no in between with Anna.
I looked in the mirror and sighed. While Sam had been sleeping last night I had thrown up twice. Now she had gone to work I would call the doctor from the hospital and tell him how everything had been.
"Hello? Doctor Shappiro?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"Oh yes, how are you feeling Miss Gramms?"
"I threw up twice last night. I can't sleep properly, and I'm still itching like crazy."
"Well we have you in for another blood test to check on you Wednesday. We'll be able to see if you're reaching the last stage at a faster pace than anticipated then."
"In the meantime don't worry Cara. You're in safe hands."
"Is there anything else?"
"I'm struggling to breathe sometimes."
"Right well I'll make sure we definitely check up on that. In the meantime if you have a particularly serious moment do not hesitate in coming to the hospital. Call me as well. DO not try to work it out yourself."
"Ok. Thank you."
I hung up and sighed, rubbing my eyes. Then I got up to go and meet Anna and Megan, and deal with Anna's mood swings. I'd have to stretch my patience to the limit if she was going to react like she had last night. It won't be long, I kept repeating to myself. I couldn't work out whether I wished she'd go or whether she'd stay. It was more selfish to want her to stay I thought. So I wished she'd go, for her own enjoyment, and so she wouldn't have to deal with me when everything came crashing down.
"Hey Cara." Megan smiled, perhaps a little less warmly than before. I guessed that this was about last night. Anna smiled but didn't really say anything.
"Hey. Shall we grab a drink and a bite to eat before we go or do you want to just go straight to the dress shop?"
"Straight there I think. I'm cooking for Anna later."
"Sounds nice." I smiled. "Come on then."
I led them on a fifteen minute walk to the dress shop I'd found that did this sort of thing. In the window the outfit I wanted was still there and I pointed it out.
"Wow." They said and I grinned. The apple green corset and skirt was decorated with black lace designs and black net underneath, with the back of the skirt going longer than the front. The sale tag on the front made me grin even more; this could be mine for £30. A lot for a student, but I wanted it and I knew Sam would enjoy it too. The thought made me blush. Lexi had bought Sam's costume for her, but I had bought the accessories, which reminded me that I must buy her a cane. I was sure the shop would sell some.
"I love this one!" Anna said, pulling out a bright pink one that was loud and very much her.
"It's nice." I smiled as Megan showed her approval by making a seductive noise and kissing Anna. Then I went over to the shop keeper to ask if I could try on the apple green one.
"Of course." She smiled and went to get it down. It was then I noticed the cane that I'd been looking for, simple, black with a silver top and end. Perfect to finish off Sam's outfit. At least I knew this would be a good night, no matter what followed after it.