“Maybe we could all dress up as geeks, with the glasses and the freckles, but not nerdy geeks but sexy geeks,” I suggested getting hyped up at the thought of another party.
“Yeah that sounds like a good idea,” Megan said with a grin, “But what about the boys?”
“Proper nerdy geeks,” I said with a laugh, “What you to two think?” I said turning my attention to Cara and Sam.
“Yeah sounds like a good idea,” said Sam with a wide smile, “I think I have a geek outfit from last time I went to a themed party actually,” she said,
“Ooooh,” Megan and I squealed, “Epic!”
“I don’t know….. Its been a while since i have worn it” Sam said unsure but Cara nudged her,
“Come on, it’s for Anna and Megan’s leaving do…. I am going to go all out with my outfit!” Cara said grinning, “You and me can go shopping for our outfits,” she said to me and I nodded.
“Wow, this party is going to be great,” Megan grinned.
“Too right it will!” Sam agreed.
We continued to chat about the party for a while longer and as we did so my stomach began to tie into knots both with excitement and nervousness. The party would finalise the fact that Megan and I were leaving and that there was no way of changing my mind if I wanted. I allowed the others to chat whilst I subconsciously stirred sugar into my tea, staring into it as though the tea would predict my future.
“Anna?” Sam said snapping me back, “What do you think?”
“Yeah fine,” I said quickly, “I’m just going to nip to the toilet,” I said and hurried away from the table. Thankfully no-one was in the toilets when I crashed into them, tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t however understand where this surge of emotion had come from, I knew in my head that I needed to go, for me, but to have the prospect of a party which would confirm that there was no way out if needed just made me realise how big this trip was.
The toilet door creaked open and Cara edged inside, I had my hands on the edge of the sink and was breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down and didn’t see her come in at first.
“Anna…” she said gently, hurrying forward and wrapping her arms around me from behind, “What’s this about?” she asked.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, wiping my eyes as I spoke, “I just got overwhelmed by the idea of going, its fine, I just…. I’m fine. “ I was stumbling over my words as I spoke in the effort of calming myself down.
“You’re scared, it’s understandable,”
I nodded, words momentarily escaping me, I turned round and hugged Cara tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. Cara gently rubbed my back and said in a shaky voice,
“Its going to be fine Anna, this is a great opportunity and you cannot waste it!” she sounding confident but I could tell that she was suppressing a sob as she said it, and I guessed that she was upset that I was leaving to.
Once I had cried as much as I could, I wiped my eyes and looked at Cara whose eyes were sparkling, “Hey, promise you will Skype me all the time when I go?” I asked, smiling at her.
Cara’s face broke into a grin, “Of course I will Skype you!” she said pulling me into a hug before looping her arm through mine as we headed out of the bathroom and back to the table.
As we approached, we heard Sam’s voice calling out, “At last, was going to send out a search party if you both didn’t come back soon. You alright Anna?”
“Yeah, I’m grand, I just had a moment but Cara made me see sense.”
“Good,” Sam said smiling.
I sat back down and as I did so, knocked over my bag which was propped against the table leg; the letter that I had written to Cara fell out. I scooped the contents of my bag back into my bag, except the letter which I kept in my hand and propped the bag back up.
I straightened up with the letter in my hand and handed it to Cara,
“Here, this is for you.”