I couldn't understand why Anna hadn't just gone to see Megan in the first place. It annoyed me that I'd felt the need to lie, create the fiction that I was going dancing and then that I had no key. I didn't want to tell her and so it really wasn't her fault, but she was making it so difficult and it annoyed me to high heaven.
I just wanted Sam to hold me. I curled up in the duvet and tried to imagine her there, with her arms around me, her nose to my neck breathing softly...
My phone buzzed and I groaned. Fighting my way reluctantly out of the duvet I grabbed my phone from the bed side table and looked hopefully at it. Sam?
No it was Anna. I groaned and opened the text.
I'm so nervous. What if they don't like me? xxx
They'll like you. Just be yourself. xx
Yeah fine. Just doing housework. xxx
I winced as I typed yet another lie.
Ah, got to keep up the housewife thing right? She might not propose if you don't ;) xxx
Lighten up Cara. It's funny xxx
Yeah well... go be sweet with your girlfriend. It's not as fun when I don't have mine here xx
She'll be back soon! Then you two can go all honeymoon-like again xxx
Thank God. Now bugger off xx
I threw my phone on the pillow and delved under the cover. Sam...
A couple of hours later I'd achieved nothing and I felt bad. Just because I had a problem did not mean I should just give up. I hauled myself out of bed and into the bathroom. Time for a shower. I got clean, blushing at the memory of Sam's phone call last night, until I realised that she hadn't called me back after I'd messed up. I frowned. Wrapping towels around my body and head I hurried over to the bed and grabbed my phone. Still no call. I got her number up and hovered over the call button. Was it desperate? What if she was still upset? Or worse, what if she were mad? I didn't think I could hold it together if she was mad.
My phone began to ring and my heart leapt, but it was just Lexi. I answered.
"You told Sam?"
"You told her you knew about Kelly? What are you trying to do?"
"I- I don't know..."
I heard her sigh down the other end.
"Sorry C, it's just she called me last night to ask if I'd had anything to do with it. I told her it was me."
"Because I can handle it and Myra wouldn't take it well. You want to tell me what happened?"
"I- I didn't mean to. I'd totally forgotten about Kelly and then we were talking and I said I missed her and I suggested she should send me a picture... and then she went quiet and I remembered." Fresh tears were forming.
"Jeez Cara... look, it's ok. Sorry for yelling, it's just I got yelled at and..."
"Is she ok?"
"She will be. I think she hasn't thought about Kelly since you two... it's just a big deal that you found out."
"She's angry with me."
"No, she's more angry with me for telling you."
"It wasn't you though."
"Well she thinks it was."
"Is she going to call me?"
"I'd leave it babe. Let her get it out of her system. You know how she gets."
"She never gets like this with me... well maybe once. But I made her stop. But now she's not here and I can't and I don't know whether to call her or not..."
"Cara calm down." I sat gasping and trying not to cry anymore. "Are you calm now?"
"Mhmm." I lied.
"Look, leave it. Wait for her to call you; she needs to be ready. I've dealt with her before. You just need to give her space for a bit."
"Yeah. Do you need to talk? I realise that this isn't fair on you either, and I know you don't know me that well but-"
"No I'm fine Lexi, really." I lied, something that I was getting way to comfortable doing. "I was kind of planning on going out later, so..."
"Myra and I were heading out, maybe we could meet you guys?"
"Um, yeah sure."
"We'll swing by Pieces on our way then. Say about half ten?"
"Awesome, see you then."
She hung up and I groaned. My lie had jumped back at me. Now I had to make myself presentable, tidy up a bit (not that the place needed it) and organise a night out.
I texted Anna asking if she and Megan wanted to go out, and then I sent Ali and the band messages too. Then I set about making some food and tidying up the house. I cleaned everything and ate my pasta, then went to my room to start reading one of the books I had ordered for next year. Might as well get started, I thought. Even if you are ill. I glared at the book as if it were my subconscious.
"What on earth are you wearing?" Anna asked, surprise on her face as she and Megan came through the door. I looked down at my jeans and shirt.
"What? What's wrong with it?"
"We're going out and you look like you're going to the library."
I rolled my eyes.
"I didn't feel like dressing up much..."
"Well I'm not going out with you looking like that. Come on."
I cast a pleading look back to Megan but she just grinned and shrugged. Anna went for the drawers and I grabbed her.
"No way! You're not going through my stuff."
"Because it's not just mine." I frowned and made her sit on the bed. Then I went to the wardrobe and pulled out a blue lacy dress that went past my knee and was fairly conservative. "What do you think?"
Anna blinked and looked round.
"What? Sorry. Wait, no you can't be serious! Why aren't you dressing up?"
"Because... I don't have anyone to dress for at the moment."
"Dress for yourself!" She frowned and made to get up.
"Ok ok, stay there." I put the dress away and pulled out the one I'd worn for my birthday."
"Yes!" She grinned.
"No to what?" Megan appeared holding glasses filled with alcohol.
"She doesn't want to dress up because Sam's not here."
"Come on Cara. We can say it's for celebrating results or something." She smiled, handing Anna her drink.
"I don't want to wear this one."
"Fine, get another one. How about the red dress?"
I pulled it out and surveyed it. Decent length but it plunged and made my boobs look huge.
"I don't know..."
"Cara you have to wear this. You have no choice. Put it on now."
I scowled at her.
"Because it doesn't matter if people look. It's nice to get attention especially when you know nothing is going to happen."
I frowned but relented. As I changed in the bathroom Megan called to me;
"So who's coming tonight?"
"The usual, band, Ali, oh and Lexi and Myra."
"Oh really?" Megan said. I reappeared in the dress. "Nice Cara, don't you think Anna?"
"Huh?" Anna said, looking over at me. "Oh, yeah, killer."
"Are you ok?" Megan asked.
"Fine, fine." She jumped up. "Your makeup looks great Cara, so you're ready."
"Thank god." I said as the doorbell rang.