I worried over the results of Cara’s tests throughout most of the afternoon, despite Megan telling me time and time again that Cara was a tough cookie and she would be fine. I had met up with her, Angie and her boyfriend Max after the doctors appointment and we all went down to Oxtail shopping centre together. Angie, who appeared to have cash burning a hole in her purse spent about one hundred pound on clothes whilst Megan and I only bought a new top each. Then Angie managed to persuade – well bribe- her boyfriend into spending sixty pound of his own money on some new shoes and a swanky new bag for her, by promising him the best night of sex imaginable if he bought her it.
By the end of it, I was glad to leave and by the looks of it so was Megan. Angie had asked us both some very personal questions and since I didn’t really know the girl I felt really uncomfortable asking, and Megan just felt that Angie was just being rude.
“Do you mind Angie?” she had snapped after Angie had asked me whether I preferred dicks or chicks, since I had tried both.
“Sorry” Angie said through a mouthful of sandwich, “I just couldn’t see myself sleeping with a girl, I mean for starters how do you two give yourself orgasms?”
“Angie!” Megan had shouted, glaring at her and then peering around to make sure that non of the other tables had heard what Angie had said.
“Don’t take this the wrong way Megan, but Angie is quite uncomfortable to be around.”
“No, I know what you mean; she speaks her mind too much. I promise you though, she is a totally different girl when she is single but when she gets a guy she likes; she is smitten by him and talks about him twenty four-seven!”
“How do you know her?” I asked intrigued.
“She went to my secondary school but moved up north in year ten to a place near here. I lost contact with her for several years but bumped into her quite literally the other day in the street. It was crazy.”
“Yeah….” I said distracted.
We walked for about ten minutes in silence and it was only when we were just walking past the park and crossing the road towards my flat did Megan break the silence.
“You okay?” she asked nudging me slightly.
“Yeah just tired you know. Might get an early night tonight as Mrs Blenkinsopp wants me to work tomorrow so she can visit family.
“You’ve not been working in a while” Megan noted.
“It’s been quiet recently so Nancy let me have some time off. Paid time off too,” I said with a smile.
“That’s nice. So I am guessing you wont want me to come up?” Megan said.
“You don’t mind do you hun?” I asked her, giving her a little kiss.
“No, not at all…. Maybe on your lunch break though we can go to a café and get some lunch?” Megan suggested, smiling softly at me.
“Yeah we can do, that sounds lovely actually. Just the two of us?”
“Yeah, or we can grab Cara on her break from being a model?” Megan suggested.
“No, can it just be us two? I mean we doing want Cara getting sick of us by seeing us every single day…” I said smiling hopefully at Megan.
Normally I would have loved it to be Megan, Cara and I going out for lunch, but I just felt like I wanted some alone time with Megan. As much as I loved Cara as my best friend, my relationship with Megan had to grow and it wouldn’t do that if we were constantly in Cara’s company ….. As bad as that sounded.
“I’ll text you tomorrow….” I said giving her a kiss and heading into my flat and up the stairs.
I absentmindedly flicked on my kettle and the water inside began to boil. A mug of tea was always the first thing I needed after a long day, and today had certainly been a long day. Once I had made myself a mug of tea I decided that I would check into facebook to see whether anything important had happened amongst my other friends in my absence. I scrolled down my timeline and spotted straight away that Cara had just changed her profile picture, it must have been one taken whilst they had been on holiday together as the picture was of both Sam and Cara and they were both in bikinis, wearing sunglasses and wrapped around each other. Cara looked happy, content, like she didn’t have a care in the world at that point, and it filled me up inside to know that Cara was happy, her life fulfilled, that Sam made her happy. In that moment I didn’t feel angry or rejected, I felt happy because Sam made her happy and happier still because Megan made me happy.
Whether I was trying to prove that I had moved on as well or not, I scrolled through some of the pictures that I had got of Megan and I until I found a really pretty one of Megan and I sitting by a water fountain in town. Megan was kissing my cheek and I was grinning, my arms wrapped lovingly around her. This was one of my favourite pictures of Megan and I and because of this I made this my profile picture. After about two minutes (Megan must have been on facebook at the time) I received two notifications, one saying Megan had liked my profile picture and the other saying that she had commented. I navigated back to the picture and read the comment which simply said, ‘I adore this photo of us.’
I clicked on Cara’s profile and looked through some of her most recent pictures, ones that appeared to have been uploaded that evening. There was one picture taken on Cara’s birthday of her and Sam dancing gently together and another of me and Cara pulling funny faces. It struck me as odd actually how easily I had fallen for Cara in the first place, she was my best friend, someone I could talk to about anything, but before the both of us had started liking women I had never ever seen Cara in a romantic was, and now I wanted it to go back to us just being best friends, without awkwardness, without fights. We were both now so happy, Cara with Sam and me with Megan and I didn’t want to jeopardise that. Never.
I clicked away from facebook and decided to check my student email, realising that I actually hadn’t checked it in a while and there may be something regarding second year there. I logged in and waited for it to load, taking a slurp of tea as I did. As I had expected e-mails began to fill my inbox, some of them junk about the university’s football team and others about upcoming events. Once I had deleted the ones which were not even worth glancing at there was one unread email left to read.