I could feel the key in my pocket as though it were a weight dragging me down. It was filled with questions and worries - why had Anna given the key to me? Was it that I was her friend, or that she wanted more still and this was her subtle way of giving me that option? It worried me and I could feel my eyebrows getting closer together in a frown as we drove towards Megan's house.
"You ok?" Sam asked after we'd waved Megan off and I'd climbed in the front.
"Fine." I smiled weakly as I buckled my seat belt.
"Sam, I said I'm fine! Ok?"
"Sorry." She muttered and we spent the drive back in silence. As we parked in her space at the back of Pieces she turned to me. "Do you want to do anything else for your birthday? We could go for a meal? I know you're mum is taking us for dinner tonight but we could have a nice lunch...?"
"I might go to the studio actually. I think I want to have a dance."
"I could come with you?"
"No, it's ok. I'm sure you've got loads to do."
She looked as though she was going to argue but then seemed to think better of it and nodded.
"I will. See you later." I went to climb out of the car and then stopped, feeling bad. "Love you." I whispered and kissed her on the cheek. Then I got out and hurried upstairs before she could say anything.
I changed in to my tights, leotard and then threw a loose dress and a cardigan over the top. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and my towel I headed out. The walk to the studio was quiet, and the sun was shining so I was pleasantly warm.
What on earth was going on? I had snapped again, for no reason. It was getting stupid, the complete lack of control I had over it. I could already see it affecting Sam, because she knew something was wrong. The only problem was, I didn't know what it was.
And it was causing problems.
There was a class on when I reached the studio so I sat at the side and waited for it to finish. Amy was there, teaching the class, and she gave me a smile when she realised I was there. When the class had finished she came over.
"Hey, welcome back. Here for a lesson?"
"I was kind of hoping to just dance."
"Well it's free for three hours until the evening classes. You can use that time if you'd like."
"That'd be great, thanks. How've you been?"
"Moody." I replied honestly.
"Don't know. That's the problem. It's making it difficult at the moment."
"With you and Sam? Or you and Anna?"
"Sam. Maybe Anna. I dunno."
"Oh yes, I can see the mood appearing."
"Oh come on. I'm hilarious."
"Sure." But I smiled. She at least made me smile.
"Mind if I stay and watch for a while? It's been a long time since I saw you dance."
"Sure, I don't mind."
"Excellent. I'll be in the corner, marking. You won't even know I'm here."
I smiled again and now that most people had left the studio I headed for the music system and plugged in my ipod. It took me six songs to warm up properly, but when I had I had a good couple of hours left to dance. After the first three tunes, Amy stopped my music. I glanced over slightly annoyed.
"What are you doing?"
"Something is different.Your dancing is more angry than usual."
"Well maybe I'm annoyed that I'm hurting other people by being a moody cow."
"No, that's not it. Maybe you ought to talk to someone?"
"No. I'm not being psychoanalysed."
"Well maybe it would help you."
"Amy I just need to brighten up. Nothing bad is happening. I'm just moody. Maybe PMS has come early or something."
"Cara, I'm worried about you. I'll bet Sam is too."
"I know she is. But it's my birthday, so can we not?"
"It's your birthday, and you're here on your own?"
"I wanted to be alone."
"Cara, go home. Snuggle up with your girlfriend. Something. Just don't mope about on your own. It'll make it worse. Whatever it is."
"I just want to have some time on my own Amy. No offence, but you're not qualified or anything, so I'd prefer to stick to my theory."
She looked at me with exhasperation for a moment.
"Alright. Well I'll leave you alone. See you soon Cara."
"Bye." I watched as she left, and then turned around and gave the mats a good kick. Damn it.