“Her body has gone into starvation mode...” the medic told Cara and Sam, “…. And we need to”
“You don’t need to do anything” I said angrily, “I don’t need looking after” I said getting to my feet and then everything around me faded and blurred together.
When I awoke something was beeping and I felt so stiff, my eyes needed to get used to the bright light around me and when they focused it was to see Cara’s face, just Cara’s and no-one else’s.
“Thank goodness you’re awake, I was so worried, I don’t know what I would have done if…” she stopped and cupped my face in her hands, “don’t you ever do that to me again!” she said poking me gently.
“I’m sorry” I breathed,
“I know you are, all I want to know is why Anna? You had the perfect body shape and now look at you, we were nice and curvy and ….” She paused for a moment and then continued, “and sexy looking and now your so skinny. Why’d you do it?”
I looked up into her eyes and she seemed to blur slightly, but that was only because my eyes were filling up with tears. “I tried so hard… I thought I could do it…”
“When you and Ali and Liam all left me in that house all on my own, I decided that I could handle life on my own but its so hard I cant do it” I confessed, “Its too hard” I sobbed.
“Oh Anna, you silly silly girl, why are you so incredibly stubborn!” she said kissing my forehead, “I never wanted it to come to this, you and your stubbornness made it like this.”
I looked up at her, tears filling my eyes, “Come back?” I whispered, “Please?” I sobbed, “I cant do life alone, its too hard, “Plus the flat needs at least two people living in it for the owner to continue leasing it, otherwise I’ll have to find somewhere else to live for next year,” I said which lightened to mood slightly.
“I’ll think about it,” Cara said with a small smile and I realised slightly too late that I had done it again, asked her to make the impossible decision of living with her best friend or her girlfriend.
“If you want to that is, don’t feel forced to…” I said stumbling over my words slightly to try and correct myself.
Cara chuckled slightly, “I said, I’ll think about it, don’t get yourself worked up,” she said, she had obviously noticed that I was trying not to make things difficult for her. She kissed my forehead again, smiling. I guessed that she was so relieved that I was one, alive and two, talking to her.
“You know…” I said propping myself up on my elbows and then realising that one of my arms had a drip attached to me which was pumping nutrition into my blood stream.
“I am truly sorry Cara, I was being selfish and I know that now. You know I love you and I know you love me too, maybe not as much as you love Sam but I know you do.” I paused, Cara looked as though she was about to say something but I shushed her and put one of my fingers on her lips.
“And I have realised now that whether we are together or not it makes no odds as long as we are together in the sense that we are best friends.”
Cara let a single tear fall at this point which I brushed away with the finger which had been against her lips. I leant in and wrapped my arms around her gently, and pulled her into a loving hug. I think we both knew that the hug was just a way of saying that the past doesn’t matter as long as we make the future count and if that meant that we were just best friends that was fine by me. I breathed in her scent and the smell of her hair which smelt of vanilla.
As we let go of each other, I smiled at her and she smiled back, “I am truly sorry Cara” I whispered and she nodded, signalling that she forgave me.
I laid back down, as being sat up in bed for too long was starting to make my head spin, plus the liquid in the drip would go into my veins much more effectively if I was lying down.
“Umm it looks as though I am going to be in here for a while, I don’t suppose you would go back to the flat for me and pack some clothes and various other things for me and bring them in?” I asked.
“Of course I will. Where is your key?” Cara asked.
“It’s in my jacket inside pocket” I said, pointing at the jacket on the back of Cara’s chair.
“Got it!” Cara said grabbing it and holding it triumphantly.
“Thanks Cara, you’re a star” I said yawning slightly, whatever medication I was on was making me feel sleepy as well as making my stomach feel full.
“I’ll be back soon” she said giving my forehead a quick kiss before walking out of the ward.