I didn’t mind this random guy flirting with me, on the contrary it was quite endearing and it definitely took my mind off Leanne and for a moment I questioned whether I was really a lesbian. He was a charming guy but I wasn’t interested in him, I wasn’t really up for a relationship and especially not one with a guy so I made an excuse and left the guy and after a quick jog I managed to catch up with Cara who was just round the corner.
“I thought you were chatting to that guy” she said
“Yeah I was but I wasn’t really into him and besides he only seemed interested in one thing and you know what that it!”
“Typical guys” she said rolling her eyes skyward, “Anyway what are you going to do now?” she asked.
“What on?” she asked a smile twitching the corners of her mouth.
“On you” she said forcing a smile, I didn’t want to be alone I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my best friend before she was snatched away from me by Sam. Her face knotted into an apologetic grimace, “I said I’d go and meet Sam while she was on her lunch break, sorry Anna.”
“Nah its fine,” I said waving away my disappointment, I knew that Cara would want to spend time with Sam, I was no longer her main girl, she was with Sam now and I needed to accept that and stop relying on her so much.
“Yeah fine, why wouldn’t I be?”
“No reason” she said and we lapsed into silence once more.
We arrived back at the flat and I went upstairs to do nothing in particular, I was on top with all my university work so not even that was there to distract me and all the time my mind would continuously wander back to all the good times I had with Leanne. A while later the front door clicked and I knew that Cara had gone out to meet with Sam. I slipped downstairs and into the kitchen where Ali was boiling the kettle and making herself a sandwich.
“You must have heard the kettle, want a cuppa?” she asked
“Yes please” I said smiling weakly at her as she pulled out another mug from the cupboard and proceeded to fill it with boiling water.
“I heard about you and Leanne splitting. Are you okay?”
“Yeah fine” I said automatically, not looking up at her.
Ali placed the mug of tea in front of me and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor told me that she had sat down in the chair opposite me.
“No your not, your dead behind the eyes without her, you’re not living you’re existing. Something happened and that’s why you two have split up and you’re bottling it up and trying to make things seem as though they are fine when you are really dying inside.”
“How do you know this?” I asked her, taking a sip of tea which was just right.
“Because I had something similar happen to me before and I can see how you have changed because of it and you may have been oblivious to the fact that Cara can see how you have changed too. She knows your trying to hold your own because of what both her and Sam said and she respects you for that but how long do you really believe you can bottle it up?”
“If I bottle it enough it might just go away.”
“Oh sweetheart it wont until you talk to someone. Until you tell someone what happened. Talk to me” she said placing a hand on my hand.
I sighed, “Okay but not in here, in your room” I relented before getting to my feet and following Ali into her bedroom.
I sat myself down on Ali’s bed and Ali perched herself on the edge next to me, “Now tell me what happened” she asked gently and I could feel a tear slipping from my eye and down my face. Ali wiped it away and gently pulled me into a hug.
“Its okay” she said rubbing my back, “Take your time.”
“I’m sorry” I sobbed.
“Babe, you have nothing to apologize for!” she said and even though I was sobbing her use of the word ‘babe’ took me back. Only several months ago Ali and I didn’t exactly see eye to eye but since our reconciliation we had since got on quite well. She was even a laugh at times.
“Leanne’s job was the problem, that’s why we split”
“Why what was her job?”
“She was a prostitute, and she had been shagging this guy and then she jacked in her job to be with him, she went on holiday with him and is now pregnant with his baby but apparently she did try to love me” I said bitterly allowing more tears to splash against me cheeks. “You’re the first person I have told, I haven’t even told Cara this” I admitted.
“Oh sweetheart!” she said pulling me into a tight hug again, “Leanne was an idiot to let you go”
“You think?” I asked her as I pulled out of the hug and looked up at her through my tear filled eyes.
“Yes I do think” she said leaning in slightly, “I do think” she murmured before gently pressing her lips against mine. Ali was a surprisingly good kisser and I didn’t pull away but instead embraced the kiss as I was too dumbfounded by the turn of events to think straight. Her lips were soft and tasted of Raspberry lip-balm which made me push further into her kiss. As we parted only one phrase sprung to mind and that was, “Well that was an unexpected surprise.”
“What can I say Anna. Opposites attract” she whispered before kissing me again, and I instantly felt comforted, my mind put to rest whilst I was kissing her. I let the mood take over, forgetting Leanne and seeing what would come of this.
She was beautiful after all.