I felt a sense of relief wash over me, I had been silly, surely Cara being a lesbian was just a phase and would pass if I waited it out long enough. Nevertheless I took a small step backwards in the amount of time I spent with Cara over the past few weeks, resigning myself to the fact that if she was indeed a lesbian and wasn’t going to change then she should at least be happy and make up with Amy.
I spent more and more time with Matt, whether it was strolling through campus, chilling in his room or working. I loved Matt and enjoyed his company even if on several occasions he had hinted very conspicuously what he wanted to make our relationship … shall we say more intimate.
I finally lost my virginity to him. Mistake?
We had been relaxing in his room one evening when it had just happened. Matt was absentmindedly twirling a strand of my hair affectionately around his finger and I took advantage of being in such close proximity to him by inhaling his sweet scent and tenderly kissing him. He pushed his lips harder against mine and the kiss became more passionate, almost lustful, our hands become entangled in each other hair. I felt Matt’s hands run slowly down my back and up the inside of my top, skillfully unhooking my bra which fell away. I couldn’t stop myself. I allowed him to pull my top off exposing my breasts; the nipples had become aroused due to the cold air.
His lips brushed over my breasts, and made their way slowly upwards until they met my lips again, his large hands clasped hold of my breasts, his fingers gently rubbing my hard nipples. I didn’t know what I was thinking. My hands move downwards and I found his jeans button, and I undid it and gently began to pull off his jeans revealing the boxers I had bought him. Was I out of my mind?
Matt fumbled with the button on my jeans and once he had undone the button he gently slid off my jeans. What was I doing? He ran his hand down the inside of my thigh opening my legs showing my pants. He then pulled off my pants leaving my naked on his bed. I couldn’t help but notice that he was ‘bulging’ from his boxers which surely meant that he was ‘excited.’
I must be mad, but it was as though the situation was out of my control. Everything had come to a head (if you excuse the pun.) The situation was definitely out of my control …. It all happened so quickly and then the realisation of the fact that I couldn’t wear white to my wedding anymore struck me.
I think I have just made the biggest mistake of my life!