I stormed back to the flat, wishing I had not gone to watch Cara dance at all, If I’d have known that I was going to see my best friend snog her dance teacher and find out that Cara was in fact a … a … I couldn’t even say the word. I just couldn’t get my head around it.
I slammed the front door shut, probably harder than I had intended as I am sure that if I had slammed it any harder the glass would have shattered. I then hurried into the kitchen, taking calm steadying breaths to stop myself from punching the wall or throwing something as a way of venting my anger.
I stood in silence for what seemed an age, trying to get my head around the night’s events but I just couldn’t, it was too much to take in …. It felt as though the Cara I had known for years had just died and had been replaced with this new and different Cara. It reminded me somewhat of when my old pet goldfish Nemo (yes I named him after the film) died and my mum had sneakily switched him during the night with a fish which looked identical to Nemo. The new fish however didn’t have the same quirks as Nemo did, and I soon spotted the differences, and was furious when my mum had told me that the original Nemo had died while I was asleep. I think I had overfed him.
Matt entered the room and gave me a warm smile; however the nights events had given me nothing to smile about, instead I let out a stifled sob and was instantly pulled into a hug.
“Hey what’s the matter?” he said kissing my head.
“Its Cara … she’s … she’s” I tried to say lesbian but I just couldn’t so I settled myself by saying, “she’s batting for the other team” I said, swallowing a rather large lump which was lodged in my throat.
“Ah….” He said, I could tell he was trying to be understanding but I could see him itching to ask how it concerned me which would have riled me more.
I pulled away with him to look him straight in the eye, “I can’t stay in this flat, not after this” I said shaking my head.
“Where are you going to go?” he asked me, concerned.
“I spotted a poster up in ‘The Buzz’ the other day saying that there are a few rooms available in halls of residence, all I need to do is pay a deposit online which I will get back at the end of the year and I could move in tomorrow.”
“But…. You can’t just move out, what about me and the others … You get on with James, Dan and Kelly don’t you” he asked.
“To be honest, I hardly see them around the flat, they are either out partying, shut in their rooms working or in lectures … I haven’t really got to know them.” I confessed.
“Don’t leave” he implored, his big eyes begging me to stay.
“I can’t stay, I’m sorry …. I’ll only be across campus anyway so it’s not like I am going miles away, we can still be together, I just can’t stay under that same roof as her” I stuck my thumb over my shoulder gesturing at Cara’s bedroom.
I gave Matt a kiss and slipped out of the kitchen and headed into my bedroom, deciding to go straight to bed and hope that it was all just a horrible nightmare and I would wake up. I would pack my stuff up and pay the deposit on the room in halls first thing in the morning.
I ignored my alarm when it went off the next morning, rolling over and trying to continue the dream I had been having, it was so much better than reality right now, but I knew I couldn’t say in bed forever. I slid slowly out from underneath the covers and pulled off my pjs and pulled on some jeans and a top. I then opened my bedroom door and shuffled miserably into the kitchen. Cara was sat at the table, watching steam furling from a mug of tea which was sitting un-drunk on the table. I ignored her and began to empty the cupboard which had been allocated for my belongings, setting them in a cardboard box which was leaning against the bin; it would have otherwise been thrown away.
“What are you doing?” Cara asked uncertainly.
“Like it’s any of your concern” I spat, picking up the box and making my way back into my bedroom, a scraping of a chair behind me told me that Cara was following me.
I set the box down on my desk and pulled out my suitcase from underneath my bed and being piling my clothes into it, not bothering to fold them up.
“What are you doing?” she asked again.
“I’m knitting, what does it look like I am doing idiot?” I said sarcastically.
“It looks like you are leaving?” she observed.
“Well done, give the lesbian a medal” I said sardonically.
“But where are you going?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly.
“The moon, where do you think? I am moving into halls so I don’t have to be in the same flat as you!” I spat maliciously.
“Please don’t go” she pleaded, I whirled around and saw that her eyes were full of unshed tears.
“Why, give me one good reason?”
“Just let me explain?” she begged, allowing several tears to slide down her cheeks.
I took a couple of steps backwards and sat down on me bed.
“Okay, explain …. I am listening”