I was in shock. It wasn't the fact that my best friend was angry, or upset, that shocked me most. It was the fact that she seemed unable to get past the idea of me not telling her I liked women. I mean... she hadn't eve let me explain that I had only discovered recently. I felt tears pouring down my cheeks but did nothing to stop them. I'd lost my girlfriend and my best friend all in one night. And now, I didn't know what to do.
I trudged the streets for awhile, not wanting to go to the flat, but as the night grew cold I realised I would have to. So I headed back and stuck my head round the door. There was no one there, but I could hear voices from the kitchen, so I slipped quietly in to my room and locked the door. Then I lay on my bed and let the tears fall silently down my face.
My best friend.... Anna....
She had abandoned me.
And all of a sudden I hated how I felt; I hated women, I hated my sexuality. If it was going to cause me to lose my best friend... but I knew I couldn't choose...
I heard Anna enter her room, and almost knocked on her wall, but decided I couldn't face the look of hate and disappointment in her face again. Not now.
So I lay there in self loathing, until my eyes closed on the newly formed tears and I drifted off in to fitful slumber.