I slept restlessly that night turning all that had happened over in my mind, how Cara could believe that I would just shunt her to one side just because I had a boyfriend when I had always gone by the rule friends always above boyfriends no matter what.
I pulled myself unwillingly out of bed and pulled on my jeans and top which I had thrown on the chair in a rage the previous night and going to bed, not bothering to put them neatly away. The picture of Cara and I which I had on my bedside table was currently residing face down so I didn’t have to look at it, I knew that if I did I would go and apologize to Cara but I knew that it wasn’t me in the wrong it was Cara and she should be the one to apologize.
When I entered the kitchen I saw Matt sitting on the sofa, a plate with about 4 slices of toast balanced precariously on the arm.
“Morning hon” he greeted, getting up and giving me a quick kiss which I returned almost lustfully, maybe it was the fact that me and Cara had fallen out but I felt a need for Matt, I wanted him close to me, I wanted him to hold me close and allow me to inhale his sweet scent, but for now I contented myself with a soft kiss from him.
“Morning” a cheerful voice said from behind me making me whirl round, Cara was sitting at the table eating some toast, my brow knitted itself into a confused look but I didn’t say anything and soon Cara’s smile faltered and she returned her gaze to her toast.
“I made us both some toast” Matt said breaking the tension and pulling me to the couch, “You eat it hun, I have a lecture at ten and need to go to the uni library before my lecture so I need to go” I said getting back to my feet, pressing my lips firmly against his soft lips then slipping out of the kitchen grabbing my laptop and my bag and hurrying out of the flat.
The university library was packed with students when I entered, however all that could be heard was the scratching of pens on paper, the turning of pages in books and the tapping of keys from students using the library computers.
I turned around on the spot, trying to take in as much of the library’s beauty as I could; it was massive with three storey’s worth of bookshelves containing every book imaginable, from fictional stories such as Peter Rabbit to educational books packed with useful information about the subject. It was a good think I was wearing a watch because I was sure that if I wasn’t careful I could easily lose track of time and spent the entire day in the library.
I found the section of the library which was dedicated to sciences, pulled a heavy psychology book entitled ‘Cognitive & Behavioural Psychotherapies’ from the shelf, settled myself on a squashy armchair and began to read.
Aaron Beck initially developed the idea of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for psychological distress after noticing that certain anxious or depressed clients experienced specific unhelpful thinking patterns of which they were only dimly aware, unless their attention was directly focused on them. These thoughts that Beck identified led to powerful and compelling feelings, but usually did not tell a balanced, reasonable story. He also noticed that people who are depressed or anxious do not readily think to question the validity of their thinking. These unhelpful thoughts were also noted to effect not just how a person feels but theirbehaviour as well such as difficulty getting going with and completing daily activities, avoidance of specific situations and difficulty with the achievement of personal goals at home or at work.
My mind began to wonder after the first few paragraphs to what I’d be doing after my lecture and how I missed Cara as a friend and after reading; The main goal of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is thus to help individuals, families or couples bring about coping and changes in behaviour or thinking my eyes began to slip out of focus I had never realised how dull the cognitive side to psychology actually was, I slumped in my chair and fell into a light slumber … my body was inevitably making up for my lack of sleep the previous night, the book laying wide open across my chest.
I must have slept for a good while, I was shaken awake by none other than Cara who looked as though she had laughed at the sight of me asleep in a chair with a psychology textbook in my lap but also looked slightly concerned.
I glanced at my watch and swore loudly earning myself a cold stare from one of the librarians, I had missed my lecture and it was nearly 1pm.
“You know Anna, I think you picked the wrong subject to study at uni, It seems to put you to sleep” Cara said with a chuckle.