I don't know why.
Maybe it's just because of 'Santa'. Because that big red fake a**hole is just a representation of all the lies which are told in this world.
I believed in Father Christmas for a damn long time.
And I believed in my guardian fairy, Fiona, the tooth fairy and God knows what else.
But when Santa's reality was lost, so was every fantasy in my world.
No fairytales would ever come true, there was no love, there was no happiness.
Everything was fake.
Christmas literally filled my life with the belief that everything was a sham - just a world of lies, a life of bullsh*t.
Now I look through my life and that's all I see.
My dad? Fairytale.
Boyfriends? There's no 'real' love.
Loving parent? I was probably f*cking adopted.
Happy future? Optimism gets people nowhere, no matter what people say to me, I'll always be cr*p.
It brings everything to my mind.
'Tis the season to be jolly and all that. What should I be jolly about?
It's funny how I say 'I love you' pretty much every day and yet I don't believe in love. Just a another load of bullsh*t I guess..
My stream has pretty much ended.. I guess this was just to say that I'm not upset because I'm upset, I'm just upset because it's f*cking Christmas and, along with everything else in the world, Christmas is a pile of lying bullsh*t.