Oh no, it's a rogue dragon! I thought as darted through the chewing gum clouds. I sensed my sidekick, DeeDee, in danger and felt the urge to rescue her. Unfortunately with a fire breathing, 60 feet long, scaly dragon on my tale I chose that my situation was more important. Anyway Dee could handle herself, if anything she had her supersonic scream if necessary.
I had barely anytime to think and I was already late for the photo shoot that our agent warned us would be the last if we missed it. These people just don't take into consideration the fact that we save lives on a regular basis, we can't tell a disaster to wait until after 5!
People seem to think that being a hero you get to live in the lap of luxury. In fact it's the opposite. Evil is where the money's at! But when a beautiful girl I met convinced me to convert I did, and loved it! Until I realised that the reason heroes have acting, singing, modelling careers is because they are skint, not because they want the fame or glory. So anyway this chick left about a month later claiming I didn't spend enough time with her, which was probably because I spent most of my time saving lives! I tend to stay alone now, every time I start a new relationship I see a body part which reminds me of her, we were meant to be together! My heart won't allow another to enter it...
Swooping down into a thick forest I narrowly avoided several trees; I landed a few feet in, savouring a few much needed breaths before ripping trees by their trunks and tying the spindly thick roots together. I had to work fast as I could hear the dragon's stomps gradually getting louder, tearing trees from their homes to get to me.
Finishing my job proudly I took my strong rope and flew high with an angry dragon in pursuit. I passed coughing and spluttering through the mesh of curvy cloud and sat a while, knowing the dragon at least couldn't singe whilst sat in the moist cloud (obviously this wouldn't stop her from tearing me into ribbons).
Popping my head out of the cloud and instantly feeling warmth and dry air enter my lungs I savoured it too long, the dragons snarling, drooling and scarred features noticed me. I readied my rope for a battle.
Claws and bombs from my belt were flying everywhere after the beast quickly realised she couldn't burn me without feeling a pinch in her fire glands. I took my skilled rope to work, wrapping it around several body parts whilst barely missing the dragons thrashes. Dodging and weaving I eventually made the dragon mine and led her home.
Leading a subdued dragon like your b*tch by tree roots through the skies then suburbs can be an ego boosting experience. Had my ego cup not already been full I would be milking it for all it's worth.
I took her back to her home of residence only knowing it would probably be set on me again, "You know one day God will get you back for all your sins you faggot!" said the shrieking woman who lived there. I would have winced at these words had they not been customary for my line of work, even when I'm saving lives. I had encountered her before and luckily we got to know each other after my conversion to the good side. But everyone has a right to freedom of speech blah, blah, blah; I reckon that right should only be given to intelligent people otherwise they get locked up.
"You know, lady..." I began to think of the many possibilities I could end this sentence with, although knowing her love for selling stories and the media's hatred of me I chose the cleanest option I could muster, "if you're gonna be in heaven, I want to go to hell"
With that I left the woman, who looked like her face was melted, looking very small compared to her 60 foot dragon pet; she was bemused and bewildered and I was happy and contented. Oh, yeah! I remembered. I was still feeling a burning sensation in my toes, telling me DeeDee needed me!