Look. If anyone gets this, I'm on the island in the middle of the duck pond. Send help.
The water's about four feet deep, you say.
Why can't I just wade out, then?
Because it's green. And it smells. And I'm not that desperate yet.
Why do I have to send this message in a empty, plastic Coke bottle, you wonder? Why can't I just shout to someone on shore?
Well, I tried that. It didn't work. They all ran away from me, looking frightened.
I'm not scary. I just want to get out of here. It's lonely, with only ducks for company.
Please. Send help.
Maybe if you do, I'll tell you how I got out here in the first place.