Hope was the one thing I could not go on without. I was still alive, my body mangled but functioning, but I was dead on the inside. Without my sister in my vicinity, how could I hope to still go on? It was a meaningless struggle; I knew it without a doubt.
The thoughts of suicide had been brewing in my mind lately. It would make the whole process a bit faster. I wanted to, but I was physically incapable, their vicious chains staying my hand from going further. Once I even tried to hold my breath, hoping to purge all the air out of me, finally ending this existence. But I would always end up breathing vigorously in again, though I swear I’m more skilled at holding my breath now than before.
I keep thinking about my sister. How maybe, if I had been a little more assertive and vigilant, I could have saved her from them. The failure of myself mocked me. They all mocked me. The chains, the cell, even that godforsaken moon mocked me. If I had my druthers, I would exact revenge upon them all. For all they did to me, and to my sister…
Lucidity is failing me. The days that pass, slowly, become completely absurd, trivial, I’m not sure where one ends and another starts. I know about the moon at least. It’s full moon twice a week in this place. It is so ordained. I’m not sure how it works myself, but they’re really powerful and crafty.
The angst is boiling up to me, now that I know about my sister. How can I ever hope to beat someone this powerful?