Aeternum ValeMature

I sat in Zane’s living room watching a movie about… hell
about something with guns and a hero that totally ignores all of the rules,
what kind of hero does that? Wait where was I?

Oh right, Zane’s living room, boring guy movie, yada yada yada.

I bit back the yawn that tugged at my jaw and flicked a quick look at my watch.

10:30 pm, I sighed. The movie has only been on for ten
minutes.

I stiffened in alarm as the heavy weight of Zane’s arm
landed on my shoulders; he ducked his head and nuzzled the base of my throat.

“Have I told you that you smell nice?” He whispered against
my skin.

I wrenched myself away from him and surged to my feet.

I whipped around and faced him in shock. Zane has short black hair, a slight muscular build and golden brown skin. His cheekbones are sharp and slightly masculine with a square jaw and wide shoulders and soft chocolate brown eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I hissed at him through clenched teeth.

He scowled and slowly got to his feet and faced me.

“What’s wrong with me?” He sputtered.

I opened my mouth to reply but he spoke over top of me.

“More like, what’s wrong with youAkira. We’ve been dating for over four weeks, yet you still haven’t made a move. Jesus, I’m not a Saint Akira. You can’t expect me to keep my hands to myself when you’re prancing around, teasing me in those clothes.” He accused me with a sneer.  

I have long pale blonde hair that stopped at my hips. My eyes are blue with a ring of green around my pupil, soft cheekbones, full lips. I stand at about 5'9, with a slight sun kissed tan. 

I looked down at my light blue denim shorts that stopped five inches above my knees, and white tank top with spaghetti straps which hugged my hips and the gentle swell of my stomach. 

I frowned and looked at Zane in confusion.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” I asked heatedly.

He sighed.

“Nothing. It’s the way that they make you look that’s the problem.  You can’t wear clothes that portray you as touchable, but you’re NOT!” He shouted at me.

“Just because you think that four weeks is long enough for a roll in the hay, doesn’t mean that the second party agrees!” I shouted back at
him.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“I’ve dated girls that put out on the second date! Just admit it Akira.” Zane prompted me.

“Admit what?” I asked tightly.

“That you’re frigid.” He said.

I felt my face flush in embarrassment but anger boiled in my
stomach, making me feel sick and had the faint sliver of bile rising in my
throat.

“You’re right, I am frigid. I just never thought that it’d be a problem with you.” I said quietly.

I looked at him and watched carefully as various emotions raced through his eyes.  He strode toward me and cupped my chin in his hand.

He leant forward until his lips were only a mere breath away from mine, so close that his breath whispered over mine. Every exhale rasped gently, urging me to lean those extra inches, it was tempting, so tempting…

“I can see it in your eyes Akira, you yearn for my kiss, for the press of my lips on yours, yet you don’t take it. Why?” He asked gently
against my lips.

I shuddered and put my hands on his chest, whether it was to push him away or to just touch him, I’m unsure.

“I never take what I don’t deserve. I never let myself want, nor do I indulge in the most simplest of touches.” I answered him in a daze.

A noise escaped from him, almost sounding like an animalistic growl. Then before I could react he pressed his mouth firmly on mine, I stood ramrod straight in shock. When he got no response from me he nipped at my lips, only hard enough for me to part my mouth in shock, and without a moment’s hesitation he swept inside.  

A thought registered that this was all wrong, that this shouldn’t be happening, so I grasped said thought firmly and pulled at with all the mental strength that I could muster.

I flattened my palms against Zane’s chest and pushed. At first nothing happened, but I pushed again adding more strength. He stumbled away from me and looked at me in shock.

“What the hell?” He asked as he swiped a hand over his
mouth.

I panted in anger and frustration.

How dared he? I thought in outrage.

“You know what Zane. What were you thinking huh? That you could force yourself upon me and that I’d follow you like a love sick puppy?” I spat out in rage. 

His eyes flamed with anger and his hands curled into fists.

“Well someone had to make the first move. You know that you wanted
it Akira. But you’re too scared to go for it, too scared to confront the
prospect of actually letting your guard down.” Zane stated.

I shook my head. 

“You’re wrong. Dead wrong Zane. You know nothing.” I growled at him.

“Then if I know nothing then why are we even dating?” He asked me softly.

I hesitated, long enough that he nodded and went over to the front door and opened it.

“I think you should leave. It’s obvious that you don’t want to be here with me.” Zane said with his face averted, shielding his expression
from me.

I stood in his lounge in stupefied silence.

He wanted me to leave?

Sorrow and shame stabbed at my gut. How can this be happening? Does he want to get rid of me this badly?

So many questions racing through my head, yet I didn’t have any answers for them.

But I didn’t attempt to voice them.

I nodded even though he couldn’t see it because his face was still averted from mine.

I shuffled over to the door, but paused next to Zane.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

He shrugged.

With a lump that felt like the size of a tennis ball clogging my throat I walked out the open door and into the warm summer night’s
air.

The sound of the door closing behind was almost my undoing.
But I forced my feet to walk on, taking it one slow agonizing step at a time.

And the thought of losing something as rare and precious as
Zane, brought tears to my eyes and sharp shards of pain slicing through my
heart.

Who’s going to take care of me now?

The End

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