I'm sorry if this comes out sounding too strong. It's not poetic or a well thought work. It's just what I feel
When I put my teeth to the grindstone, hoping for a look of recognition, a word of praise or even an encouraging smile, did I deserve no more than to be broken and cast away?
When my blood had turned to steel due to exertion, every nerve as fierce as fire in the exultation of an uphill battle, did I deserve no more than to be knocked over to be condemned to a permanent misery?
When you patted me on the back, asking me to strive harder, to reach farther, did you have a note of pity in your voice that hinted that I was a lost cause?
Did you really believe that my soul was meant for eternity or did you say that, thinking it would comfort me, hoping my spirit could gallop toward the unattainable to be shattered into infinite fragments that would never piece back together?
When I wield a sword of faith, am I digging a trench that will soon be my grave?
Will I fall so deep that I must never be heard of again?
When the sunlight caresses my neck when I toil in the field of belief, is it really telling me that it is hopeless to stand up and fight? That it is hopeless to plant the sweet fruit of success in the dark orchard of despair?
When I raise my arm to achieve, am I plotting my downfall?
Will I be no more than an unacknowledged corpse in this battlefield they call dreams?
Is every breath I spend running, a waste. Every bead of perspiration insignificant?
Is it time to admit defeat?