There wasnt much I was particularly certain of, but one thing was true: life was little more than a series of events, and sometimes those events happened to you.
It was one of those days where the sun was too bright and the sky was too blue, giving a false image of hope. Mostly I kept my eyes downcast as I walked on, the dull thud of my Converse hightops the only. High and lonesome. Before me, a house I knew all too well came into view, and I felt my pace quicken. It was not a place of note, persay, but most days it was my final destination. I had a fire in my heart that was rapidly burning out and a dull, throbing pain echoing from my forearm, and that was all I'd ever known.
I raised my hand to knock lightly, and a moment later the door opened, revealing the one person I had left. Xian was my sinew, the one I could lean on in times of great need. He was my comfort, my confidant, my best friend. Among that, he played other roles...lover, drug companion...
Xian's smile was enough to take my breath away. I thought then that there were too few things in the world that were truly beautiful. There I stood, just another black-haired girl in too much eyeliner, waiting on the doorstep for a miracle I'd long since given up hope in. Then he stepped towards me and pulled me to his chest in a tight hug. He smelled of cigarettes, weed, and coffee. It mingled with my vanilla perfume nicely.
"Asaya," he greeted. "How're you doing?"
I merely shrugged, because we both knew the answer to that question. We both knew the agonies that fell from my parted skin in the form of crystalline ruby droplets.
"I got some new shit," he said then, moving aside to allow me into the house. "Rigs and everything. Pure shit, Craig told me."
I couldnt contain the faint smile from tracing over my lips. If there was one thing that could take me down so low the pain couldnt ever reach me, it was heroin. Sure, weed was nice for a time, and cigarettes were a constant offer of security. But heroin...that was true love.
As I trailed behind him to his room, to his sanctuary of misery, where the walls were dripping black and the candles did little to slice through the darkness, I knew all too well that I was tempting madness, and sooner or later the insanity would catch up to me. The ghosts I felt within me were real, and sooner or later they would win.