Can't Start A Gap Year Without A Sparx...!

Oh come on! COME ON! Every SINGLE traffic light I hit is red. Absolutely TYPICAL. I’m gonna be so late, Ethan’s gonna be having dolphins. Or is it kittens? Does it really matter?! Eyes on the road Sparx! Come on, keep them open till you get there...this is totally not my fault. My alarm didn’t go off... When they ask, I’ll just tell them that my alarm didn’t wake me.

Which it didn’t, it’s true, but that’s maybe ‘cause I hadn’t fallen asleep for it to wake me...

~

 You are KIDDING ME! No you idiots, get out the wa – yeah nice one, talk about playing for the team. Stupid excuse for a DPS...Go die in a hole...

Hang on, my mic’s on? Did you hear that? Yeah, well I’m GLAD you heard that! Jeez, now I gotta wait to respawn...

Oh god. No time to respawn. I have exactly ten minutes before my phone alarm goes off to wake me up in time to get to the airport – no wait, I read that wrong, it was meant to have sounded ten minutes ago. Well that’s useful.

Wait, the airport, did I remember that right? Yeah, that’s right, it’s today you fool, today’s the day you get out of here for a whole year...!

~

It’s not that they are unkind or anything, my parents, but I can’t stand living with them for one more day than I have to. Every day at school I was reminded of the stupid, stupid name they burdened me with. Every exam I took had it in bold, block capitals staring up at me.

GAYLORD MAXIMILIAN SPARX, CANDIDATE 6047, CENTRE 36232.

The sort of name you'd score in scrabble with [and you'd be surprised how many wiseguys I've met who've made that comment]. The examiners probably think I have a stupid haircut to match; piercings, tattoos, the lot. Or perhaps just an extremely camp fashion sense. I'm sure I'd disappoint.

The parents swear blind that it’s the name of my grandfather’s American piano teacher, and if he was a musical prodigy then surely I’ll come to great things. It’s a shame then that I couldn’t give a toss about music without a thumping bass line: "All I care about is sex and [World of Warcraft related] violence, a heavy bassline is my kind of silence..."

~

Quick! Clothes in bag, money in wallet, comb - actually, nah, bedhead’s the way to go – contacts in pocket, feet in shoes, keys in hand, out the door into the car and drive!

Thank god our stupid little house is only fifteen minutes away from the city airport – of course, still gotta get across the centre without getting snapped on camera...

~

And there’s no parking. It’s, what, five in the morning and the airport’s full?! Oh no wait, it's seven... and there's a space, sweet. And I have enough change for a ticket, even better. It’s always nice knowing I’m not gonna be coming back to a clamped vehicle. Vehicle. Jeez, it’s too early in the morning for three syllables.

I wonder how everyone else got here? Their parents probably cared enough to come see them off. I’ll send a postcard, maybe, if I can be bothered.

~

Stupid case with no wheels. Get me a trolley! Ah, there we go, that’s better.

 I bet the girls are complaining it’s cold, even inside. Ethan won’t be, he’ll be...ha, he’ll be checking that watch! Well I'm here, and I'm not that late...am I? Now, shades on, hide the eyes, lazy smile, *everyone loves you, everyone loves you*, switch on the swagger and they’ll never know.

I’ll catch up my sleep on the plane...

The End

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