I hate Mondays. But today was even worse.
Emily: annoying, soppy, embarrassing, short Emily; came up to me at break time and started talking to me like we were friends. We are not friends.
"Hey, Carter," she says happily.
"Hi," I say moodily, trying to ignore the fact that all my friends are watching me and laughing.
"Had a good weekend?"
"I suppose." In fact, I'd had a brilliant weekend. Two whole days without her coming up to me and trying to talk to me. But I couldn't tell her this. My dad was in the army and he'd brought me up to never insult someone directly, especially a girl.
"Mine was brilliant." She always did this. Answered the questions I didn't ask. It was so ... infuriating. Sometimes I wanted to strangle her so that she'd be silenced. Permanently.
"What did you do?" I asked, knowing she'd tell me even if I didn't.
"I went round my cousin's house and she showed me her new puppy. He is adorable!"
Spare me. Why did girls have to get all excited about baby animals? They're animals, people. Animals.
"Which breed?" I asked in a bored voice.
"Labrador! Golden! Oh, you should've seen it. I wish you'd been there, Carter."
"Hey, Carter, d'you wanna come round this Saturday?"
"This Saturday? Oh, you know what, it's the most terrible shame but I've got a football match this Saturday." My parents don't approve of lying but I don't think they want an insane son.
Emily's face fell. "Oh." Then it brightened again. "What about in the afternoon?"
"No, can't, sorry. I've been getting so much homework lately... it's just unreal."
Emily looked depressed. "Well, that's really too bad."
She made as if to go away, which I would ahve greatly appreciated, but suddenly she turned back and said "Carter, am I annoying?"
Yes; yes, you are. "Well... you do seem to talk a lot when I'm not very conversational." Mate, if you're around, I'm totally not conversational.
Emily nodded to herself as if making a mental note of a piece of advice.
"So, you want me to talk less?"
She smiled and cocked her head sideways slightly as if to better admire me. Oh please go away, I thought desperately.
"You know ... you have the most wonderful eyes," she murmured, before drifting off as if in a dream.
Hand me a bucket, someone.
When she'd gone, I walked out of the building. I couldn't face my friends after that. I'd get an excuse note at the Health Centre or something.
Why couldn't she just leave me alone?