A detached recollectionMature

This is a very personal set of poems to do with something in my past. I'll say now that this has possible triggers and upsetting stuff in it. But for me, writing it was a big step in overcoming it.

A detached recollection

She gazed out the car window
Watching foreign buildings fly by
Were they there yet?
Did she really care?
She turns her eyes from the glass
And drowns herself in a book
Then her music
Then finally in her dreams

Then she's awoken by a noticeable jolt
Her dad slammed the drivers door shut
He went into a white walled building
Talking to official people
The house wasn't ready
Into a hotel for their first night

She failed to sleep
Simply tossing and turning
Listening to the steady breathing of her parents
Her brother was fidgeting in his sleep
She wished they talked about personal stuff
Then maybe they could talk about the unfairness
The cruelty of it all
But they don't talk
Never about serious
Close to the heart matters

She gazes round the empty square room
The magnolia walls
The cream carpeted floors
The plain ceiling
The small wardrobe
Just big enough for her to hide in if she wanted
It looked no different to any of the other houses

She couldn't decide how to arrange her room
What was the point she wondered?
But she knew her parents would shout if she just sat
Surrounded by cardboard boxes
So she unpacked
And walked into the garden
She could hear the happy cries of other children
But she had no wish to see them
She had friends
There were just far away

She pulled out the phone book
But when she called her friend her voice sounded detached
Had she already accepted her disappearance?
She put the phone down and stared into the bottom step of the stairs
She willed herself to be back
But she knew nothing would happen
Her mum suggests going outside
Seeing the park
She has nothing else to do

The park is empty of life
She tries out everything
The slide
The wire swing
The climbing frame
The roundabout
But each time she goes back to the swing
She can lean back on it
And pretend when she looks at the sky
It's from somewhere else
Then she hears a strangers voice say “Hi”
Things became infinitely worse after. 

The End

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