The 9 Most Annoying Things About Atheists

Due to how much fun I had with chimerakiller2's buzzfeed response, I've decided to start doing these. To make sure I don't crowd anything, I'll put them all in this collection. Also, while this is solo for the moment, if this gets big enough I will start a response collection as well.

Let us begin my first buzzfeed attack. Though, I suppose it's not really an attack, more so a dissection, but that's irrelevant. I'll be beginning with another one against atheism, because the last one was.

1. "They all think they are like -insert picture of Socrates here-, and like -insert picture of Charles Darwin here-."

You seem to misunderstand a few things about atheism. First of all, being an atheist does not automatically make you think you're a genius. It doesn't even mean you think that religious people are stupid. Our personal opinions of religion does not necessarily reflect what we think of you, what we think of you is dependent on what you do. If you tell me that the only way I will get into a magical place in the sky after my death is to read a book by someone I don't believe exists, believe that every word of it is true, and that otherwise I will burn in a fiery pit for all of forever, then yeah, I think you're an idiot. That doesn't mean I think your parents are idiots, or your friends are idiots. Just you.

2. "When they are actually more like -insert a gif of a man putting on a hat-, and like -insert a video of a goat yelling like a man-."

Here's the guy putting on a hat:

I have to be honest, I have no idea what they were trying to say with this. I like hats, but I don't think that all people who like hats are atheists.

As for the goat, it seems that Buzzfeed is under the impression that all atheists are fourteen years of age, and only exist on the internet. This is a strange impression. It is also false.

3. "Actually, five minutes in a room with them will make you wish you could go back to just listening to that goat yelling like a man."

This isn't saying anything, except that you have a poor attention span. First of all, you are aware atheists go to cafes, and theaters, and so on, right? During this time, unless the topic of religion has been brought up specifically to us, we probably won't speak. Secondly, the only atheists you can find in rooms who are actively talking about atheism are giving seminars, in debates, or making jokes or songs about religion, and here is a short list of people like that who sound better than goats:

Tim Minchin, Jimmy Carr, George Carlin, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, most if not all of the Mythbusters, Phil Mason, Che Guevara, James Randi, Epicurus.

4. "They all think their religion is so much better than everyone else's."

Atheism is not a religion, and there's really nothing more to say about that.

5. "On the internet they all think they are -insert picture of some guy I don't know-, when in reality, they are more like -insert picture of boy on the internet saying religion is stupid-."

See one and two.

6. "They're always turning the conversation into religion."

"Achoo." "Nothing happens when you die." "Thanks man."

That claim is funny. Frankly, most atheists who spend all of their time trying to prove to everyone else that they're an atheist is a god damn moron. They're also rare. I don't think I've ever begun a conversation with "Excuse me sir or madam, have you heard the news that God does not exist? I'm here to spread the word!"

With regards to the violinist, again, he didn't start it, but he has a right to be pissed. Just like doctors have a right to be pissed when THEY SAVE LIVES, and the patient thanks God for saving them, and not the doctor.

7. "And they’re constantly showing off about how they’re soooooo much smarter and more rational then everyone else."

Due to the format of this sentence, it seems Buzzfeed agrees that atheists are smarter, but just don't want to hear about it. To that I say: See 5 and 6.

8. "They can’t handle it when their logic is turned back around on them." And then they showed this picture of Christopher Hitchens:

You are aware that Christopher Hitchens does exist, right? His body was donated to medical research, if it didn't exist, that wouldn't work very well. True, he's dead, he no longer has thought, but death does not mean not existing. And even if you are using the second definition of the word exist, then he DID exist, which is more than you can say about God, whose existence has never been shown. I have no doubt that Christopher Hitchens was once an atheist writer and speaker, I have many doubts that God was and still is an eternal universe creating being.

9. "And they refuse to answer even the simplest questions."

The first question showed was "How did the universe start?". This is a simple question to you? And if you're going to say God did it, explain how. If you use the method described in the bible, then not only do you become subject to EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE BIBLE BEING NONSENSE, but you still haven't provided anything substantial. How did he do these things, why, and why in the order than he did?

The rest are all questions that atheists have, and do answer to this day.

"In conclusion, we should all just move to Australia."

Maybe then you'll stop whining about Obama.

The End

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