4AM Thoughts

Nobody but you will ever see you truly break,I don't care how close you are to someone. They could be anyone; family,friends,a stranger or a lover. Only you see that ugly side to you. The bitter tears streaming down your flamed cheeks from your glazed eyes. It sounds poetic,beautiful even. But there is no beauty in pain. Romantacizing it only makes it all the more dangerous. Nobody but you will feel the tight feeling in your chest as you replay over and over disturbing scenes of your darkest thoughts as they walk the halls of your corrupt mind. Only you will breathe the smoke of the fire you sparked upon the happiness you once built. You walk alone. Cold,haunted and hurting. Like me.

I feel as though I am a shadow,lurking in the background of life as it becomes to unbearable and even unliveable to stay breathing. I feel as though I may go crazy and I am starting not to mind the idea. I have strange thoughts and visions and a startling desperation to be someone else. I want to be reckless and a figure of  insanity, I suppose I am a paradox. Something yet not fully. Like I have 100 different sources of sadness feeding into my bloodstream so I am not wholly one thing. I don't stand up for everything that society says is right nor do I stand up for everything society deems is wrong. In truth, I can not find myself. I don't know what I am,if I'm human or even if I am mammal. I feel I have cold blood running through my veins. My hands are cold but I believe my hands are warm, I will have to travel to distant places,different planets and maybe even across galaxies to have my questions answered,though I'm not sure of my own questions.

The End

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