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1. Say what you need to say in as few words as possible.

2. Self expression is for e-mails.

3. Vodka consumption makes all of your thoughts more colorful, but severely inhibits your ability to communicate them.

4. Read your work out loud to yourself--if you stumble at all, go back and make repairs.

5. If you can bring yourself to cut a passage of text you're madly in love with for the greater good of the piece, you are doing God's work.

6. Humor is best served with a side order of sadness.

7. Know your enemy, his name is Television.

8. Know your other enemy, his name is Couch.

9. Don't talk about "being a writer" to pedestrians or coworkers unless you enjoy outlandishly awkward conversations. You'd be better off telling them your left foot is actually a lobster. (Besides, you're not a real writer anyway. You've never been paid.)

10. Don't write to escape from reality, write to help yourself deal with reality better.

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Author guidance for This exercise

Give yourself 10 pieces of writerly advice.

Name your chapter whatever you wish.

If you didn't recieve an invitation to add to this piece, so what? Guh head.

updated Jun 21 '11 by SeeThomasHowl