NOTE: If your eyes are sensitive to sexual encounters, drug culture, outlandish descriptions of cheese, and words like "^*^*", then you have no business reading my stories. For everyone else, welcome to the party. Underneath this rock-hard exterior lies a hopeless romantic. So, you'll mostly find my $@&& in the Romance section. And, because old people suck, you'll also find my %!#* in the Teen/Young Adult section. Feel free to critique my work. If you love it, awesome. If you hate it, fine. But - if you're going to talk !&$^ - you better have some specific, concrete examples or I will troll the living crap out of you. Now that introductions are in order, let's get started. Oh, and - don't be alarmed by Katy Perry. She's supposed to exhibit happiness and camaraderie - characteristics I clearly possess.