"There's man all over for you, blaming on his shoes the fault of his feet. - Samuel Beckett" I was sent to Catholic school for the first eight years of my education. They stopped beating me in the sixth grade. When I was in the sixth grade I fell in love for the first time. She was in the fifth grade. I gave her too many valentines on Valentines Day and this became a source of great embarrassment for her. However, even as fat as I was, and with just the first hints of acne on my face, this embarrassment lead to my being allowed to kiss her. More than once. It became known that I had kissed her, as one of the times we kissed was at a party with other school mates. One day, the priest who was the head of the parish (and school) came excitedly into the classroom I was in. He had her with him. "The Pope has made many wonderful changes to the mass," he enthused to our class "and one of them is called the 'Kiss of Peace'. Starting this Sunday at mass when I say 'Now, as a sign of Christ's love, let us extended to each other the Kiss of Peace' you will turn to everyone around you and shake their hand, as a sign of Christ's love, and say 'I bid you peace'. But that was not how the early Christians did it." He then demonstrated how the early Christians did it. With her. There were 24 classrooms in our school. He took her to each one. She never spoke to me again. They stopped beating me in the 6th grade.