Greetings ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, aliens, unicorns, elves, pixies, gnomes and and all you other extraterrestrial doodahs ... err ... I come in peace?

Welcome to the world of a young British scribbler who spends her time talking rubbish, reading, writing and, generally, making a mess wherever she goes.

If you feel a burning desire to know more about the slightly manic, disjointed and sometimes downright ridiculous affair that is my life, check out my interview by Eloosive. (Seriously, check this guy's work out, he's awesome with a capital A.)

Other awesome writers here (and there are far too many for me to count!) include ... *cue drum roll*:
Seldom, Tasha_Noble, Archi_Teuthis, Gabriel, TheRosesBloom, delorfinde, CharlieRoberts, Elorithryn,- *waves* - Lyre, Moonwalker  .... I could go on (and on, and on, and on!) but I'd really recommend these guys, with many of whom I have had the pleasure of collaborating with during my time on Protagonize.

Okay, so I lied, I will tell you a bit about me after all, because I'm evil like that, mwua ha ha ha ha!

I have a mad fascination with words. I love the way the sounds slither off my tongue, and I collect interesting quotes and phrases like your Auntie Beryl collects stamps. I also use a lot of these words in everyday conversation, which tends to give the allusion that I'm either well educated, or that I'm a few baskets short of a picnic. Usually the latter, I must admit.

Like most writers,  I'm rather prone to starting something, then being distracted (often by a shiny object or the smell of food) and completely forgetting all about said project, only to remember it when I'm halfway through something new and, seemingly, far more interesting.

I can't play video games to save my life. I'm a chronic button masher, whether it's MarioKart , COD, Assassin's Creed (stealth? what's that?) or Kingdom Hearts. Or Final Fantasy - damn you Sephiroth...

Fantasy is my drug, as most of my works will tell you. I'm a sucker for anything out of this world - though it's likely that if I were a mage I would be locked away at the bottom of a very deep dark hole to keep the world from being blown to bits when I tried to turn a light on. Bit of a sci-fi fan too, though my grasp of science is rubbish. 

And now for some shameless self-promotion!

My completed Solo Works include...

The Othello Diaries - The hilarious mishaps of the cast of Shakespeare's great masterpiece in the Winter Solstice Drama Production. Warning: Contains a mild hilarity. (not technically complete, but each chapter is self-contained)

Water Legs - My entry for the 2010 Feats of Wonder Competition. Allie's outlook is gray after she loses both her legs in an accident, but little does she know that the sporting field trip won't turn out to be half the nightmare she expects...

Guilty As Charged - Trying to bring a particularly sadistic author to justice for her crimes doesn't go quite according to plan for the fictional judge and jury.

Flash Fiction!

The Fairy - a Writer's Block induced piece that brings a whole new meaning to "hitting the wall".

I Remember - The past may be behind us, but its memory can never truly die.

Bruised - Sometimes the only person left to blame is yourself...

The Wicked - Should we mourn the wicked?

Windows - There's something funny about the old house at the end of the road...

Don't Turn Out the Light - Sometimes, nightmares can be all too real.

And who can forget the infamous "Aeserion Trilogy"?

Warrior -  Gwythryn and his battle-hardened company take to the field against an age-old enemy. However things get far more complicated - and far more dangerous - when Gwythryn discovers wars within wars, and a deadly, hidden secret.

Exile - Having survived one set of trials and tribulations, Gwythryn faces a whole new game of survival when he is forced into exile. Meanwhile, Kairin faces an altogether different, but no less dangerous, battle in the court of the king.

Legend - Storm clouds are gathering, and Kairin and Gwythryn alike are beset by setbacks and treachery. While Kairin dances over thin ice in pursuit of a deadly traitor at court, Gwythryn battles to save everything he holds dear in the midst of an ever-mounting catastrophe.
The future of two nations hangs by the merest thread. It's up to these two to keep them both from plunging into ruin... 

And now for something completely different ... Collaboratives!

Back To The Light ~ started by me, now accompanied by the incredible Gabriel - The Arena: hidden in the darkest corner of the Underurbs, populated by the most dangerous criminals and psycopaths in Alarbor, and among the most heavily guarded vicinities in the world. This is the last place Gavin Ryder wanted to end up - not in the least because it's run by Jeremy Wayne, a megalomaniacal millionaire with a burning desire to see his entrails splattered all over the wall. However, Gavin isn't giving up yet. With the help of seasoned Arena veteran Phoenix, he plans to do what no one has ever done before - escape. Little does he know that this desperate bid for his life will set in motion events that he could never have foreseen. For not only has Gavin earned the ire of the authorities, but he has unwittingly unearthed the darkest secret that lurks in Alarbor's black, rotten heart.... (incomplete, but barreling towards a hair-raising conclusion!)

Faerie Bound and Last of the Line ~ Faerie Bound started by Elorithryn, while the other half of the tale is my own abomination (note: to read them you must flip from one to the other to get the full story!) - A spin-off of the famous Protagonize Bus, this tells the story of half-faerie Morgan, her father Mike, best friend Gloria as they continue their adventures. Powerful magics, turbulent conflicts, shattering revelations and an evil line hell bent on dominating the magical world all stand between her and a peaceful future with the man she loves - the spirited, but troubled Asharyn Van Helsing. The bond of love between them is strong, but is it strong enough to endure the battle to come? (incomplete)

A New Epic! A New Epic Failure. ~ started by Crymzon- A gang of Protagonizers end up in hot water when their creations, quite literally, walk off the page. Kidnappings, explosions, improvised weaponary and lots of well-placed movie quoteage all add up to turn this tale into a melting pot of high-jinx, hilarity and utter carnage. (incomplete)

SoulRiders ~ started by SilverEye - An accident prone "runt" of a dragon and her trouble-magnet of a rider are flung together in exceptional circumstances. Nobody thinks they'll last very long, but in a world where appearances can be very deceptive indeed, who's to say where their adventure will lead? (incomplete)

However, as well as all this prose-based madness, I'm also partial to a bit of poetry when the mood takes me. The topics tend to vary depending on what muse is playing havoc in my head at the time, but I hope you'll find something you like in here. I've got ballads, tributes, bouncy song tunes, depressing dirges and some things that are just plain odd.

Behold, My Poetic Insanity!  (newest poems will be posted at the bottom)

- Stolen by the Fae
- My Great-Uncle Jack
- Soldier
- Ramblings
- Welcome To The Army
- Songs Of The Ages – an anthology (albeit a small one)
- Won't You Let Me In?
- Learning To Pray – a special poem for my dear friend Delorfinde
- Monsters of Men
- Tourist
- Do You? Could You? Would You?
- Waking Spring 
- I Ate It
- The Duet of the Loonies - an amalgamation of the randomness, madness and pure awesomesauce that is my buddy-ship with the ever-brilliant Elorithryn. Written as a birthday pressie! :D
- The Author's Epic  
- On the Awkwardness of Writing a Love Scene 
- At the Pearly Gates
- She Has You - lyrics
- You Stand
- Pursuit of Happiness

So there you have it, me in a small yellow box... well, not so small now I've put all this drivel in it! I'm rather good at drivelling, if you hadn't worked that out already.

These profile boxes are obviously nothing like the TARDIS. Definitely not bigger on the inside. I would know - I keep hitting my head on the ceiling in here.

One final warning. If you ever meet me, do not, I repeat, DO NOT let me try to cook dinner. Food has a nasty habit of doing things it shouldn't in my presence.

Exploding Flapjacks anyone?