"My Motto: "Do unto thy characters the most deranged things humanly possible." ... Mwua ha ha ha ha!" Lo, I descend from the end of the tunnel, the future, to inform you that, as of 2015, this account (and its profile) have been without update since, approximately, 2010. I leave it, and all works attached to it, as proof of how far one can come from aimless scribbling. Since this time, I've written a thousand more novels and even managed to publish one. Progress! Yay! Greetings ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, aliens, unicorns, elves, pixies, gnomes and and all you other extraterrestrial doodahs ... err ... I come in peace? Welcome to the world of a young British scribbler who spends her time talking rubbish, reading, writing and, generally, making a mess wherever she goes. If you feel a burning desire to know more about the slightly manic, disjointed and sometimes downright ridiculous affair that is my life, check out my interview by Eloosive. (Seriously, check this guy's work out, he's awesome with a capital A.) Other awesome writers here (and there are far too many for me to count!) include ... *cue drum roll*:Seldom, Tasha_Noble, Archi_Teuthis, Gabriel, TheRosesBloom, delorfinde, CharlieRoberts, Elorithryn,- *waves* - Lyre, Moonwalker .... I could go on (and on, and on, and on!) but I'd really recommend these guys, with many of whom I have had the pleasure of collaborating with during my time on Protagonize. Okay, so I lied, I will tell you a bit about me after all, because I'm evil like that, mwua ha ha ha ha! I have a mad fascination with words. I love the way the sounds slither off my tongue, and I collect interesting quotes and phrases like your Auntie Beryl collects stamps. I also use a lot of these words in everyday conversation, which tends to give the allusion that I'm either well educated, or that I'm a few baskets short of a picnic. Usually the latter, I must admit. Like most writers, I'm rather prone to starting something, then being distracted (often by a shiny object or the smell of food) and completely forgetting all about said project, only to remember it when I'm halfway through something new and, seemingly, far more interesting. I can't play video games to save my life. I'm a chronic button masher, whether it's MarioKart , COD, Assassin's Creed (stealth? what's that?) or Kingdom Hearts. Or Final Fantasy - damn you Sephiroth... Fantasy is my drug, as most of my works will tell you. I'm a sucker for anything out of this world - though it's likely that if I were a mage I would be locked away at the bottom of a very deep dark hole to keep the world from being blown to bits when I tried to turn a light on. Bit of a sci-fi fan too, though my grasp of science is rubbish. So there you have it, me in a small yellow box... well, not so small now I've put all this drivel in it! I'm rather good at drivelling, if you hadn't worked that out already. These profile boxes are obviously nothing like the TARDIS. Definitely not bigger on the inside. I would know - I keep hitting my head on the ceiling in here. One final warning. If you ever meet me, do not, I repeat, DO NOT let me try to cook dinner. Food has a nasty habit of doing things it shouldn't in my presence. Exploding Flapjacks anyone?