"Bob Dole likes cheese." Hey. I apologize in advance for the brevity and banality of this profile. Self promotion and aggrandization is not my strong suit. My Superman Underoos on the other hand... very strong. I'm John. One of the, apparently, many refugees from the Ficlets Assassination of mid December, 2008. I had been a member of that site for around 8 months or so after being directed there by a man who once played a boy with a leech on his pecker. During that time, I found a wonderful community of writers who were not only incredibly talented (not all of them were, or are, but many were, and are), but also incredibly kind and supportive. The kind of folks you'd like to have by your side at a campfire, telling stories and sharing your innermost thoughts of how that typo or misplaced comma made you feel. After AOL sent Ficlets down the Green Mile, many of the users cried and wet their beds at night (I'm projecting because I don't want to be alone in the bed wetting thing) while shaking thier mad fists madly at the sky, "darn you AOL and your miserly old ways!" While I was off bed-wetting and screaming obscenities that were censored by the FCC, other, more productive users, were off finding a new home to peddle their wordy wares. Enter Protagonize. Originally I was scared off, and frightened, by the overwhelming amount of text on the front page. How could I even begin to navigate such a site (sight? they both kinda fit)? There were so many... words. Overwhelming is short-selling my reaction. I quickly decided this place was not for me. I held onto Ficlets like a dying hamster, and was unable to see the value of this new puppy. However, after a few brief visits to the site, I've come to recognize that it holds some possibility for my uniquely inefficient and horrible writing. I'm willing to give it a shot. So, I offer my hand and my words in greeting all of you. Please, try not to make me cry or wet the bed again, my wife would really appreciate it. Also, you should probably ignore my earlier apology, and accept this one, for my excessive comma usage.