" I am woman, I bend I dont break" I have been lost for a wile.. looking for that one void that we all seem to have. I was on a mission to fill the void at any cost. But the damage became to noticeable. I structured my being around hearing the words I love you come out of a chiseled jaw, and nicely curved lips. Losing dignity and worth. Im lost, trying to find my way back through all of these dead relationships piled up stinkin up the once vibrant aura that consumed every bit of me. So I climb through bodies and surf through lonely waves of hurt. The pain is what heals me ironically. So now im here. Filling this void hoping you will hear me, Listen to the cracking of the broken pieces as they are thrown against walls of doubt. built up strong and sturdy year after year. I grip the Shards allowing them to rip through skin and tear through veins, hoping the pain can some how shock me back to a past time where these words could flow so freely, as time past i acquired more to write about, so much that i am literally constipated from all the thoughts, metaphors, horrors and happiness, joys, spits, and pain I could share with you. So much in such little life all backed up in this tiny little frame. And as disgusting as that sounds is how disgusting I feel with all this false love that has touched me... all these fingerprints smudged over my heart. So this is my attempt at healing. One letter at a time. Maybe ill touch someone... Maybe you will listen... And i can try to get all of these prints wiped off. Through poems... through hope... and reveal what im looking for.