a 117-year-old man from the United Kingdom

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"No use crying over spilled milk, honey. It's time to get a divorce."

Though I wasn’t born in the UK, I live here.

I’ve been writing since I was 16, and believe me, at 109, it doesn’t get any easier. The thing is we writers (most of us, at least) strive for one goal – absolute greatness at the craft. It can never be achieved. All that happens at the end of the day is constant obsessing over your work; editing and re-editing over and over again until you run mad.

You can become a darn good writer, but a great writer? I’m not so sure. Writing is not something you can become a true master at. There’s always something new to learn, no matter how good you are at it. Trust me, I’m 109 years old, mate!

I love music (Eminem, Linkin Park, Babamars, etc), movies, video games (can’t wait for Grand Theft Auto IV) and – most importantly – reading. That’s the only way you can become a good or almost great writer – by reading constantly. If you can’t sit your arse down for at least one hour and read something ... anything, and you think you can become a decent writer, then you are insane. I think.

Okay, you’re not insane. Just kidding lol. Forget I said that. But you have to read though. Very important.

I also love to write. I write everyday most of the time. Sometimes I don’t write at all in a whole week. This one time, I didn’t write for 6 months and I forgot how to write as I normally could. I could barely string up a proper sentence or conjure anything creative. That’s the thing with writing – it’s not like riding a bike; you can’t just stop and start again 9 months later, expecting to be as good as you once were. No. Won’t work. Got to keep writing, mate.

I write anything. Even stuff that isn’t good or creative, I still write it anyway ... and toss it into the bin when I’m done.

Lastly, I’m immortal. But of course you would have already guessed that from my age above. Let me add that I may be 109 years old but, I assure you, I look 23.


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