This is beneath me. I shall have one of my minions write this for me. No, they would probably mess it up and make me look like a fool. Then I would have to kill them. Which would mean having to replace them. And good help is hard to find. Hell, even mediocre help is hard to find.

But I don't have to justify myself to you, you sniveling whiners with all your touchy-feely goody-goody claptrap! You all deserve to die! And you shall, if you do not submit to my will and my rule. This site shall be mine! And you shall all obey me.

I shall begin by destroying the nonsense story I was placed in and taking control of something that is actually well-written. Then I shall mold it to my own liking and rule it! Then I shall do the same with another story... and another... and another! Soon I shall have Protagonize and all its tales and characters.

Next, the very Internet itself! Bwahahahahaha!!!

(Too bad you can't get the full effect of my reverb)