from My Room, England, United Kingdom

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"I wanna be the very best"-pokemon theme song :P

About me.

My name is Gabriel. In Mandarin it is 威豪. It means something magnificent, something heroic. Unfortunately I am not a very heroic person.

I like being alone. There are lots of places that are nice to be alone in.

I like parks. On spring days the air is fresh and it is quiet after it rains.

I like dimly lit streets in autumn. Especially when they have trees lining the avenues. The leaves falling make a gentle sound and I can wrap up warmly and listen in the evenings just as the sun goes down.

I like night-time in winter. Open car parks are nice at that time. They have lights strung up, twinkling by themselves, but only a few people park there. If it snows it covers the ground softly and noone disturbs it. I can watch the snow fall in a coat and wear a scarf and gloves. I can let my breath puff out in the air and let flakes melt off my umbrella.

I do not like being alone in summer. I have not yet found a place that is nice to be alone in summer. Summer is best for being with other people.

I like sitting by windows when it rains. If the window is closed I can watch the patterns the water traces down the glass. If a droplet is left in a corner on its own, I'll cheer it on until it can join a bigger rivulet and travel down the glass with the rest of its droplet buddies. If the window is open I can enjoy the smell of the rain and the cold breeze and the spray off the window-sill. The sound of rain is very soothing. Especially when it's so heavy you can't see very far. That sort of rain is best.

I like sitting in comfortable chairs and reading. Sofas are ok too. I often fall asleep if I get too comfortable and drop my book. This is always a little embarrassing when it happens in a public place. I do it a lot when I go to have coffee.

I used to like sitting in the library. The smell of books was always soothing, the rustle of paper, the scrape of chairs occasionally. I used to fall asleep there too. Sometimes I would be reading, sometimes I would be writing, sometimes I would be doing a su-do-ku. I enjoyed times when I could relax in the library.

I like going for drives by myself. When I was in school, I used to like driving to school in the mornings nice and early. If there were too many adverts on the radio I would put on a CD instead. I also liked the drive home in the afternoons. In winter it would be after dark and I would have to put on my lights. Sometimes I would forget until I had already left the car park. But I always remembered quickly. In summer it would be warm so I would roll up my sleeves and leave the windows open. When I got home I would always fall asleep for an hour or so. I really enjoyed those kind of school days. I was tired because I had worked hard in the days.

I like singing on my own. I get nervous if lots of people are listening. But if I am alone I can sing loudly and noone minds. It does not matter if I am off-key or pitchy if I sing alone.

But, I also like singing with other people. When everyone is having fun and making a big sound, it doesn't matter if we're all pitchy and off-key either. We'll sing loudly together anyway.

I like making music. But I'm not at all very good at it. I would like to be better at music, but I'm afraid that I don't have much talent or much confidence. I used to play in an orchestra. I liked it when we all sounded good together and I could make my violin sing with the other instruments. I was always a little proud of myself after a rehearsal went well.

I used to turn up early to rehearsals. It was nice being first there and being alone in the big hall. I liked the sound my feet made on the floors. Sometimes I would play a little by myself. The room always felt too big for my sound. It was a shy sound. I didn't want anyone else to hear.

I like feeling the floor beneath my feet. I like large halls when I'm in smart shoes. I like fields when I'm in sports shoes. I like astroturf when I'm in trainers. I like carpets when I'm in socks. I like mats when I'm barefoot.

I like training. When I used to train a lot at cricket, I liked how light my feet felt in new trainers, and I liked it when I cut my hair just the right length and the breeze cut through it just a little as I moved. I liked sprinting. I still like it. I like being fast.

I like how my feet grip training mats. It's good to be barefoot sometimes and feel your toes grasp the ground. On grass, on earth, on concrete, on asphalt, on foamy mats, on rubbery mats, on plasticky mats, on plain wooden floors. I like being in the training hall. I like the space being not too big. It's cosier that way. It makes me feel more at home. I like the smell after the place has just been cleaned. It makes me feel more energetic and my body all tingly and excited to train. I always like those sort of days training. You can always learn something good in the training hall, even if you're there by yourself. But sometimes I expect too much of myself and get disappointed. Those sort of training days aren't so good. I'm not fun to train with for other people either when that happens. I have to be more considerate of others.

I like walking through crowds and not bumping into anyone. It's like having water flow around you without getting wet. I don't like it when big groups walk straight at you and force you out of their way. It makes me feel threatened, like they're bullying me out of their way. I don't like being bullied.

Recently I've taken to cooking a lot. I like cooking. I can be alone in the kitchen and it's my own space. I can manage all my own little bits and make sure everything is in its place. I can work hard and try to make something delicious for the people who are eating my food. That's worth working up a sweat for. Cooking for other people is fruitful and rewarding.

I like long train rides alone when I don't have anything else to be doing. I like plane rides alone too, but they come less often. Bus rides aren't quite so fun. I can fall asleep easily on the train. If it's sunny, the scenery is beautiful. If it's rainy it's still beautiful, but in a different way. If it's dark I can fall asleep very easily. Planes I don't sleep on so easily. Especially if the air is dry, then it is uncomfortable. But I like to stay awake when other people are sleeping and wander the aisles. I find interesting things that I take down in a notebook and write stories about. I like it when we fly through the night. Then I can see the sunrise from above the clouds. It is always beautiful to watch the sunrise from above the clouds. The whole sky spreads out like spilt watercolours or tye-dye. I really like moments like this.

I also like the ocean, especially when it is a cold day and the sky is dark. Then the wind can be fierce and I can wrap up warm again and hear the waves. The sea always smells wonderful. When it is especially fierce, the beaches and cliffs and piers are all empty. I can stand by myself and there won't be anyone else and my cheeks will get windburnt. The ocean is a beautiful thing.

High places are also beautiful. Especially cities at night from high places. On balconies, you get the open air and you can hear the sounds of real life going on. It's good to feel the world moving around you. It makes you feel like you're part of something big and important.

I like being alone, but I also like being with people.

A lot of the time I don't like being with people. I prefer watching. I prefer waiting. I prefer being quiet. A lot of the time I feel like it is hard to share things with other people. Even though I would like to. It is difficult to share my favourite moments with other people, when all my favourite moments are from the times I spend alone.

But, I do have favourite moments from when I spend time with other people too. I like hiding from the rain indoors with people I like. Sometimes we sit on the floors, even though there are perfectly good chairs and we chat. Sometimes we sit on tables, sometimes we lie on desks. Sometimes we get thrown out of wherever we are.

Sometimes we go drinking, sometimes we go dancing. Sometimes we do things we're ashamed of later, sometimes we do things we'll never forget, sometimes we do things we'd never take back if we were given another lifetime, because they were perfect moments.

Sometimes I just like walking. Walking with other people is always nice. We don't have to be going anywhere or planning anything. The rhythm of footfalls is nice. Before we know it we've had a lot of fun. These experiences are always priceless.

Sometimes I like being close to people, especially when I am sad or lonely. I used to not think I would ever be lonely. I must have changed a lot since then. When such things happen, I like to be hugged. I also like holding hands, though that is a rare happening.

I like writing a lot. Because I cannot share my moments very well, I like writing them down. I make up stories from moments and write them down too. These are all my favourite moments I can think of. That's why I like writing. Writing is never alone, even if you're by yourself. You're always making new moments when you're writing and sharing them with other people.

So I want to write these moments and share them for other people. There are people I love and people I don't love, and people I dislike, and people I hate, and people I love very very much. I don't mind sharing all these moments with all of them, because it is important to share such precious things.

Then I can make more moments to write about.

Those moments and feelings that never come twice,

Even if they disappear,

They should be kept pure somewhere,

With the memories of all the things you love.

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