Dysphemism (Euphemism's Antonym)
a 19-year-old male from Mississauga, ON, Canada
Updated Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 at 2:44 AM EST.
This is Aaron's profile. Since he decided to write more than most, a Table of Contents has been added to give it some semblance of organization. Please feel free to browse to your heart's content. Additional content will be added every so often, and flagged with 'NEW!' on the table.
One must not forget to mention the 30-chapter Seldom-Dysphemism collaboration of supernaturally raunchy crime scene investigation, Disappearing Acts (MATURE).
http://protagonize.com/story/disappearing-acts
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
- About Aaron's Writings
- About Aaron Cairney
- About Aaron's Birds
- Favourite Novels
- Currently Reading
- NEW! Seeking At Least One Co-Author
- NEW! Inappropriate Recommendations
- Fan-Fiction Topics
- Tips
- Contact
- Website
ABOUT AARON'S WRITINGS:
Aaron usually prefers to write in the third-person limited omniscient narrative mode, as he is doing right now. However, he seems to be comfortable to break out of that, occasionally. For example, he finds that a little bias is necessary for some stories -- and biases run thin in third-person! Thus, once in a while, Aaron finds that it is nice to have a narrator that can directly betray the reader with a flawed impartiality and narrow perspective.
His preferences do not yet seem to extend towards genres or themes. Aaron is a young, inexperienced writer. As such, he is still experimenting freely with various genres. And he might remain that way, until the last day that he writes.
Before Aaron joined Protagonize, he had been working devoutly on a novel-in-progress, with the working title of 'Resurgence'. He has barely touched it since.
ABOUT AARON CAIRNEY:
Right now, Aaron is recovering from depression, or trying to at least, and hopes to be back to school soon, to finish his last six or seven credits. Then, he will head off to university, to do something mildly interesting that will pay adequately.
Occasionally, Aaron has collaborated with other internet users on various online video game development projects; specifically multi-player online role-playing games. Aaron has written dialogue, story content and designed landscapes with two-dimensional mapping software.
Aaron is a preacher's kid, and a very liberal one at that. He is also an agnostic. And an evolutionist. And a feminist. And someone who is deeply concerned about climate change. His father is a minister for the United Church of Canada, and his mother is a lawyer for Legal Aid Ontario. Furthermore, Aaron disdains androcentrism and heterosexism; despite being a straight man. Please make note of the extreme difference between heterosexuality and heterosexism. It is like the difference between 'Islamic' and 'Islamist', which most people don't seem to understand.
ABOUT AARON'S BIRDS:
Aaron has two pets. They are birds; parakeets, to be specific. And they are mates. The female has the natural pigmentation seen on any wild parakeet in Australia. Green belly. Striped back. Yellow head. However, the male is mostly white, with gray on his wings and a splash of blue on his belly and tail.
The female's name is Siren, named for the incessant scolding sound she makes as well as the creature in Greek mythology that sings so sweetly that it distracts sailors. And, admittedly, Sirens are also portrayed as mermaids, rather than birdlike harpies. She makes up for this by trying to swim. This usually results in poop in the bird bath, which Aaron has to clean out.
Siren likes to munch on sprigs of millet seeds while on Aaron's hand. This is a fun, messy meal for her. She also likes to sit on people's shoulders, especially if they have loose threads that she can pick at. Woolly sweaters are the best.
Aaron's father wanted to name her Jets-Go, because he found her on the pavement outside the house one day. It was just after the plane company of the same name went out of business. She was stressed, scared, injured and without tail feathers. On the pavement. Could not fly. It was a fitting name. However, Aaron refused to name a bird after a joke.
The male bird's name is Niveus, a word that is Latin for 'snow' and 'white'. This reflects both his date of arrival, December 15th (2006) as an early Christmas gift, and his glacial colouring.
When there are no eggs in the cage, he is usually the friendlier of the pair. That is typical of male parakeets, they bond closer with humans. A mateless male has the highest chance of developing a modest English vocabulary. However, Niveus cannot say anything yet. They both respond to the command 'up', which instructs them to step onto what is in front of them; be it a finger or a shoulder.
Siren & Niveus have had two unsuccessful breeding attempts. She has laid two clutches of four eggs, early this summer and in the spring last year. This time, though, nobody ate one of the eggs. That made her quite mad at him.
FAVOURITE NOVELS:
- Dune (and its many sequels) by Frank Herbert
- The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
- Rollback by Robert J. Sawyer
CURRENTLY READING:
- The Mote In God's Eye by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
- Time's Eye by Arthur C. Clarke & Stephen Baxter
- The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey
- Protagonize Dot Com (http://www.protagonize.com) by Nick Bouton
SEEKING AT LEAST ONE CO-AUTHOR:
This list contains Protagonize stories that Aaron has written which he would desperately like to find a willing co-author for. There are plenty of stories he has participated in and started which are ignored. They do not all make this list. Some stories are more important to him than others. They are listed in order of personal importance to Aaron. Most of these did not get noticed much because they are flagged MATURE, and thus do not show up on the main pages despite their high ratings.
- Vagary (Medieval Fantasy Simulation) My first co-author bailed on Protagonize, but still reads the story. http://protagonize.com/story/vagary
- For Whom Does The Rain Fall? (Futuristic Science-Fiction Psychic Romance) Located in Vancouver, BC. Be warned, this story is R-rated. http://protagonize.com/story/for-whom-does-the-rain-fall
- Fencing Fame's Fiancé (Medieval Fantasy Adventure Romance) Aaron would prefer to finish writing the first ten chapters that are in his head, but would like a co-author now or later. Preferably later. http://protagonize.com/story/fencing-fames-fianc
- The Six That Spade Lost (Post-Modern Paranormal Drama; Potentially Super Hero Action) Corporate conspiracy. http://protagonize.com/story/the-six-that-spade-lost
- The Shell's Edge (Science-Fiction Horror) http://protagonize.com/story/the-shells-edge
- Tales From The Tipsy Tavern (Medieval Fantasy Story-Telling And Murder Mystery) http://protagonize.com/story/tales-from-the-tipsy-tavern
- The Unspeakable's Wife (Post-Modern Psychological Romance) Be warned that one of the characters is a pedophile. However, there is no explicit pedophilia in the story thus far. http://protagonize.com/story/the-unspeakables-wife
- Below The Hatch In The Glade (Medieval Fantasy) http://protagonize.com/story/below-the-hatch-in-the-glade
- In The Shadow Of A Hero (Superhero Romance) http://protagonize.com/story/in-the-shadow-of-a-hero
Aaron has plenty of other orphaned, unanswered story threads on Protagonize. But these are the good ones. The rest are mostly dark tales of heartbreak. (Examples: http://protagonize.com/story/a-call-in-the-late-hours-of-the-night http://protagonize.com/story/dear-stranger http://protagonize.com/story/the-aftermath-of-a-halfhearted-breakup ) And all of them can be found under the VIEW ALL STORIES BY THIS USER tab.
INAPPROPRIATE RECOMMENDATIONS:
If you are in search of something particularly debaucherous, dare anyone say smutty, here is some stuff other people wrote that Aaron has branched:
http://protagonize.com/story/youre-a-bad-boy-josh
http://protagonize.com/story/green-and-colour
http://protagonize.com/story/poltergasms
http://protagonize.com/story/the-city-skyline
http://protagonize.com/story/his-house
FAN-FICTION TOPICS:
- Dune series by Frank Herbert (non-canon BH&KJA content?) http://protagonize.com/story/the-apocrypha-of-arrakis-dune-fanfiction
- Firefly / Serenity by Joss Whedon (TV / Film / Comics)
- Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba (TV / Anime / Manga / Film)
- Claymore by Norihiro Yagi (TV / Anime / Manga)
- Chrono Trigger by Squaresoft (Video Game)
- Final Fantasy: The Ivalice Alliance Series by Square Enix (Video Games)
- Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates by Square Enix (Video Game)
- The World Ends With You by Square Enix & Jupiter (Video Game)
TIPS:
- Tags provide a greatly ignored service to your work. Please add as many relevant tags as possible.
- Always split big chunks of prose into paragraphs, no matter how disorganized. People will be unwilling to read huge blocks of text.
- Ratings will rarely ever tell you anything worthwhile about a writer, story, branch or chapter. Comments and readings tell far more.
- Giving constructive criticism and well-thought praise is far more useful than a rating.
- When branching, please consider any pre-established level of formality, narrative mode, style and themes. Otherwise, you may be irreparably damaging something dear to someone else.
- Ending branches and chapters on 'cliff-hangers' is a common and effective technique to keep the reader's interest.
- If you don't want to see anyone block the direction in which you want one of your stories to go, state your intentions in the comments and trust your co-authors to respect them. Otherwise, anything can happen.
- Be as gentle as possible when giving advice.
CONTACT:
MSN and Windows Live Messenger Address: words underscore of underscore stone thirteen at hotmail dot com, written that way so that it doesn't get spammed.
Contact E-mail, all one word, no brackets: (ac) (bassoonist) (at) (g mail) (dot) (calm)
He may or may not come up when one searches 'Aaron Cairney' on Facebook. If that does not work, his name should come up under the fan list of Protagonize.
WEBSITE:
The Web site listed below is not Aaron's. He is a member of a team that works there on an online video game development project. They are working on a role-playing game. The slang acronym MORPG (multiplayer online role playing game) applies. However, it is not yet playable by the public. Aaron is a mostly a writer for them, and also has contributed many ideas and concepts that do not relate directly to the writer's plots, settings and concepts.
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I just got another story idea to nurture, and then write, some time soon. In the world of brainstorming, there is something profound about the act of sitting upon a toilet. Well, it's a horror story. Starts with an angst-ridden son, observed from his father's perspective through first-person narration. The son has fetal alcohol syndrome and has been kicked out from under his parent's roof. Furthermore, he has failed and dropped out of high school. On top of that, he just got fired.
So, he asks his Dad for money, and his father says no. This leads to patricide, thus the narrator gets murdered. However, the narrator is now a ghost. It is a horror story, after all.
Now, from beyond the grave, he struggles between urges to solve some lingering issues with his family and to haunt his murderous offspring. Maybe a medium, an exorcist and a possession get involved. Who knows how it will end. Heck, who knows if I'll even get around to writing it.
Dysphemism out."
Good eye, though. :)"
Things I must branch, eventually, that I did not get to yet:
- Released To The World
- The Duel of Narath
- The White Book
- Fencing Fame's Fiance
Unwritten story ideas:
- The Prince's Ghost
- The Delta Collective
- Aria & Rondo"
I like the new guidance system so far. However, I wish it had a rich text editor. Then again, heh heh, I kinda wish everything (comments!) had a rich text editor.
And I've added three chapters to Fencing Fame's Fiance. I just hope a co-writer or two shows up on that one. Solo-writing isn't what Protagonize is for. Now it's 6 AM and I need some sleep. Or maybe not.
Anyways, the Guidance entries for my stories are going to be abundantly filled soon."
I understand the way you rate things. You tend, perhaps to be a bit more thrifty with the numbers. And that's fair. We all have different benchmarks.
In the end, it all gets pooled and my benchmark gets mixed with yours, and everyone else's and we have an aggregate.
Benchmarks are tricky things. Comparing our stories to "Things Fall Apart" by Achebe, for instance, we'd all get a 2.
I feel compelled to respond to your last comment because I think leaving no response makes its own statement. Constant fives are encouraging. Constant two's are discouraging. I came here to be motivated to write, not to tell others why they're no good at it. So, I'd rather stick with the love, per s�.
However, a four is generally my benchmark. It is, after all an amateur site. That is, I'd rather play baseball in a beer league than a competitive one. .
By and large, the well written comment will outwit the rating anyway. As well, it will be interesting to see what Nick has in the cards for the new rating system.
I'm not sure how to respond to the petty popularity contest. I've recently corrected myself for rating authour's I knew harsher than authour's I didn't.
Anyhow, after this long winded response (lol, hope you have some coffee), I'm off to bed. Spent all day at the lake. i'm blistered and sunpooched. That means, my writing consisted of three lines and a couple of comments *and* I didn't get a chance to read your new chapter. I *will* read it tomorrow. Fame's Fiancee is one of my favourites."
Recently, I have trimmed down my favourite author list, favourite story list and page markers. This was in response to a flood of e-mails. I know, there are settings I could change instead. The thing is, I like getting spam from Protagonize. Indirectly, MSN messenger lets me know whenever I have a notification. I just had too much to read on here recently. I hope nobody else takes it personally. And I'm very sorry to those that already have."
;)"
Things I must branch tomorrow that I did not get to today:
- Released To The World
- Below The Hatch In The Glade
- Disappearing Acts
- The Duel of Narath
- The White Book
Unwritten story ideas:
- The Prince's Ghost
- The Delta Collective
And several things to read, pages marked. And I have four more episodes of Durham County to get through. ^_^"
i had thoughts, but i'm lacking the spark right now.
maybe if you leave a hook that i can't resist, then i'll bite it.
that's a round-about way of saying write right now.
hah."
;)"
Inappropriate Recommendations (MATURE)
and
Seeking At Least One Co-Author
Hopefully, I have been of service."
I branched quite a few things today. However, I found things to be mostly dull. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when Seldom and Tasha both go offline for a few days. Well, at least Jait showed up today. That was neat.
And... I neglected FFF once again, despite how vivid the next five chapters are in my head. Also, I was quite tempted to add a "LOOKING FOR CO-AUTHOR" list to my profile.
Yeah, I got so bored today that I re-organized my profile -aa-aah, there's a spider crawling on me! And... a fuzzy caterpillar. And I'm indoors. Wow. Anyways, I gave it a table of contents.
Watched a bit more Kyle XY. It made me want to write an ESP-based teen drama, which has been floating around my head for a few days. That's kinda redundant, though, considering that I already HAVE an ESP-based teen drama on Protagonize. (For Whom Does The Rain Fall?) But this one was different. Tossed some of the ideas by Olius_Brightwell. I probably sounded like a bumbling fool.
Dys out."
See those round shiny things over there on the ground? If I am not mistaken, those are, indeed, Jillian's marbles. I suspect that she has lost them."
I've come to realize that I have not yet said hello to you, as so many others have, so I thought I would stop by and do just that: so, hello. I think it's lovely, by the way, that Dys chats with you so often...I should really start talking to my profile more (it must feel so neglected!).
I couldn't help but notice his last entry about story tags and I couldn't agree more; many people *don't* consider how beneficial they are. However, I also have additional thoughts on the matter, if Dys should wish to know them. Either way, please let him know that he can contact me, via my profile comments section, anytime he wishes.
Myself and my profile send our regards!"
Almost everybody's tags are utterly horrible. Whenever I read a new story that lacks adequate tags, I wish for a moment that I could add some appropriate tags, as best I can. No, I am not necessarily saying that I wish I was a tag-Moderator. Simply, it seems to me that nobody cares to put an effort into their tags. They don't consider how beneficial it is to the system. >:-|
(On an unrelated note: Thanks, Bucknuck!)"
Anyways... what I am saying is I realize that no cliche can really help, but that some really are true.
You need to know that someday you will surround yourself with people who do appreciate you (like we do here in this little community). Then one day you will receive a compliment and actually realize that you agree with them and you will recognize that the detractors are really the ones who missed out.
Until that day, you will just have to take our word for it: you rock."
(Freudian slip, get it?)"
Won't be able to add today like I promised argh :( I'm busy packing to go away tomorrow for a long weekend and have been ferrying huge cases around in my car - family packing! As a consequence I'm so shattered I can't think straight.) I will add when I get back. My car also has major problems. It slipped out of gear on a hill and I had a crazy moment with it. Needs a new gear-box and my pockets are empty lol"
Sorry for your woes, Dys."
This morning, my father referenced a Protagonize story I had written, in conversation with a social worker. He was making a point of acknowledging my escapism. The specific story in question, not that he's had the opportunity to read any of them, was 'The Unspeakable's Wife'. Thus, an avid watcher of CSI: Miami, Cold Case and Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit has criticized my mental health because I allegedly wrote about a pedophile. The Unspeakable's Wife is about a pedophile's wife, not a pedophile (and a therapist's wife). It is about gossip and psychology, not preying on little boys. Thus, my father was not in fact listening - the one and only time he took an interest in my online hobbies. Which he did on behest of the aforementioned social worker, after I acknowledged that my parents don't care at all about what I do outside of an academic classroom. I'm afraid of how this makes me feel. I don't like knowing that I loathe someone who has provided for me in so many ways. It pains me. Today is not my best day, emotionally. Dysphemism out."
:D"
Two by two, hands of blue."
(1) Protagonize is not a mature-only content site. I have to make sure kids aren't presented with mature content on the homepage, or anywhere obvious. I've already had complaints about it from parents, before I added the profanity filter, as people were posting profanity in non-mature stories and it was getting into the big excerpts. The fact that the site allows mature content at all (and believe me, I have no problems with it) is hard enough for me to deal with. :/
(2) Using your comparison, Tasha is not a great example of our average ratings numbers. On average, and based on her time on the site, she's gotten way more ratings than anyone else (good or bad, just sheer volume). I think this is just because she has a few friends or relatives on the site who rate all of her posts, whereas many of us don't, and it's just random visitors rating us. The other thing to note is that she has 14 people following her posts, and you have 9, which can potentially add up to a good 40% more votes or so. She also posts less mature content, but that's your decision.
(3) No one's forcing you to post solely mature themed content. You're welcome to post some PG-13 stuff as non-mature, if you want. But keep in mind that this site is not just a labour of love for me, it's potentially a business (hopefully sooner rather than later...) and I can't be scaring people off because there's mature content prominently featured all over the site. That's why it's tagged mature. :)
As I've mentioned before, the best I can do right now is add a profile flag letting users have mature content displayed to them everywhere when they're logged in (opt-in). I'd present this on the registration form so new users can decide what they want to see, same as the profanity filter. Then mature content would no longer be filtered out for those users all over the main site pages, provided they're logged in.
If you have any other suggestions that fit within the site's guidelines, let me know."
Try this: copy-paste your text out, refresh the page you were posting on, and paste it back in. Then try submitting it again. Let me know if that works."
Today I branched nothing, chaptered nothing and published nothing. And I only had twenty notifications to get through. I don't even know if I got through them all. I did my fair share of reading and rating. However, most of today was spent with my brother and the friend he had over. She was delightful. She even read 'Fencing Fame's Fianc�', which I was really hoping to add to this evening. Now, the wee hours of the early mornin' have arrived... it's 3:45 AM EST. Dysphemism out."
This evening, I got a story idea while watching a music video of all things. So far, I have a vague premise and a modest title, "Fame's Fianc�". It's to be about two people meeting in a bar, both of which are engaged to famous people, an actor and a pop diva - but they're just everyday people, as their lovers were before getting 'noticed'. And so it'll probably deal with money, fame, maybe drugs, neglect, stalkers, paparazzi, fandom, upper class meets lower class. I dunno exactly where it'll go. But that's a good thing, I think, since I hopefully won't be the only one writing it. And I might throw it into another genre to spice it up. Sci-Fi or Horror, I suppose. But I ain't gonna write it until my headache stops. Dysphemism out."