"“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”" Bert Bekemeier is a common jack of all trades, master of none. He enjoys himself and likes to think that he is God's answer to boredom. If God had a profile he would probably agree. He aspires to one day finding Sasquatch just so he can be sure to give him advice on never being found again. Most importantly, Bert Bekemeier also does not believe in typing his own biography, stating that "geniuses don't like to gloat."